An Open Letter to a Dear Old Friend.

Dear Santa.

It has been many years since you last received a letter from me. But after last night - I felt the need to share a frustration I have, so that nothing comes between a couple of life-long buddies such as ourselves...

First off, I must acknowledge a couple of things about you...
Your eyes -- how they twinkle, and your dimples how merry!
Your cheeks are like roses, and your nose like a cherry!

Your droll little mouth is drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of your chin is as white as the snow;

The stump of your pipe is held tight in your teeth,
And the smoke from it encircled your head like a wreath;

You have a broad face and a little round belly,
That shakes, when you laugh like a bowlful of jelly.

You are both chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I realize that many laugh when they see you,
in spite of themselves.

All that does not change the fact that I spent two hours (two hours of my life that I will NEVER get back) helping you out, by pre-assembling a "certain gift" for a "certain little four-year-old-girl", that will (when she sees IMG_0049that gift) undoubtedly provide many fond memories of you for her. Her eyes will light up, and oooo, that smile... She will be so excited, and she will talk about the gift you are bringing for many years to come...

Despite all this, I get BUPKIS for the work I put in "helping you" !

While it is true that I enjoy assembling items, I have been on a bit of a time crunch the past few days. Assembling this particular gift for you was a bit of an inconvenience, and cut into my already inadequate sleep time.

So Santa, my dear old friend, I could not (in good faith) let this frustration just sit and fester between us without sharing it with you. I'd hate to see such a simple thing come between a lifelong friendship, like the one you and I share.

Maybe next year, you could have a couple of the elves help a Father of Five out...
What do you say?

Your dear old friend...

P.S. I hope this letter does not end up putting me on your "Naughty List".


  1. U R screwed for next year, my pal. Santa is going to send your kids all sorts of ready to assemble gifts.

    Without those fancy little hardware packets OR instructions.

  2. Merry Christmas from our house to yours.

  3. The way I figure it, from December 25th till the 31st (it's still the "current" year), you have 7 days that Jolly St.Nick is not watching till the "New Year". It's been my experience that if you are going to mess up, this is the time to do it. Trust me on this one.......

    Merry Christmas to all!

  4. I say let the kids assemble things themselves, or with your help. They might learn something (including a few choice words!).

    Ha ha ha ha. Ho ho ho.

    Merry Christmas!

  5. It's real hard work to make sure our kids have a good Christmas but always oh so worth it :)

    Bit late but Merry Christmas to all of you!!


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