A FOF Definition - Trifecta Friday


Trifecta Friday - It’s a term I use once every six weeks.
 
Some of my readers are co-workers (or former co-workers) and know exactly what a Trifecta Friday is.  Others have had it explained to them, and still others may not know what a Trifecta Friday whatsoever.  Today (and I am not sure why it did not occur to me to do this years ago) I’ll officially define the term “Trifecta Friday” and how it came to be.
 
Let’s start with the word “Trifecta” itself.  Trifecta is (according to Wikipedia)…
 
In horse racing terminology, a trifecta is a pari-mutuel bet in which the better must predict which horses will finish first, second, and third in exact order…   …It is also used in sports to describe scoring three points at one time, or succeeding at anything three times in three consecutive attempts, such as in cricket.
 
Well, since I’ve never once played the ponies, and am anything but a sports enthusiast - you may be wondering where would I get such a term added to my vocabulary?
 
Once I graduated High School and was awaiting my term in SKILLS (police academy) to begin, I took a second job working security at a horse racetrack.  I started off working the first half of the season in the grandstand during race days and times, and later moved to work the backside where the barns housed the horses and living quarters of the trainers and horsemen.   It was during my time working at the Racetrack that I picked up on a few terms I have never heard (or used) before.  Examples include the aforementioned “Trifecta”, and another new one - “Stoolstepping” (WARNING:  Don’t google the latter term while you are at work).
 


 
The second term is Friday.  Friday is (according to Wikipedia)…
 
Friday is the last day of a five-day working week, and is viewed as a cause for celebration or relief (leading to the phrase "TGIF", for "Thank God/Goodness It's Friday").
 
My current work schedule operates on a foundation of a rotating shift.  The number of hours-per-day, days-per-week, day off pattern, and day off rotation can very significantly.  The shift I prefer to work is an eight hour day, 7-day-on, 3-day-off, 7-day-on, 4-day-off pattern.  The three days off always fall on Wed-Thurs-Fri and the four days off always fall on Sat-Sun-Mon-Tues.  It sounds more confusing that it really is.
 
Many of you have also seen or heard me say “It’s my Friday” on various days of the week.  Well, in my current shift selection – my “Fridays” currently fall on Tuesday, or Friday. 
 
Because my work schedule is on a three week rotation (meaning it starts over ever three weeks) I get MY Friday on a CALANDER Friday once every three weeks.  When it is my Friday on a calendar Friday it is followed with a four day weekend!
 
Every other “Friday on a Friday” is also payday Friday.  With a three week rotation - every other “Friday on a Friday” equates to once every six weeks.
 


Now, let’s put this all together.  Picture, if you will, a scene fading to FOF standing at what appears to be a crowded betting window at a race track (as unlikely as that sounds).  From some unknown corner of the room, a loud “Race Announcers voice” booms over a tinny sounding bullhorn.
 
AAAAND, as they cross the finish line -  
It’s FOF’s Friday in THIRD place by a length! 
It’s FOF’s Friday on a calendar Friday in SECOND place by a neck!
And it’s FOF’s Friday on a calendar Friday and it’s payday Friday in FIRST PLACE by a nose!
 
FOF looks down at his betting ticket in disbelief, and quickly proclaims…
 
WAIT!  WOULDJA LOOKIE AT THAT!!  COULD IT BE?!?  IT’S A TRIPLE WIN!
I bet on my Friday, on a calendar Friday and payday Friday!!


I JUST WON THE “TRIFECTA FRIDAY”!!     

“Family” (Quotation Marks Intended) Reunion

Last November, I wrote a little blurb about my “Family” (Quotation marks intended)

Unfortunately, a recent urgent situation has befallen one of the members of that “Family”.  Due to the circumstances this classmate has been in my thoughts and prayers quite a bit in the past week.  This has triggered a flood of emotions and memories from days gone by – and has motivated me to complete this “partial” post that I started before Christmas.   

Not long after that previous entry four delightful gals from my “Nativity family” (who organize a “girls night out” from time to time) decided to not only have one of their nights, but to open it up and invite as many of our class members as they could for an impromptu get-together!     

Cindy, David, Kris, MaryMargaretInitially, I felt a little trepidation about this.  Being socially anxious, and an introvert normally has me a little uneasy about such gatherings.  On the other hand, there were a number of friends I had not seen in years decades – and have been enjoying reconnecting with them on FB, so I was TRULY looking forward to seeing them in person again! 

I sucked it up (and my gut in – after all, the years have not been good to my “circumference”) and attended the event despite my anxiety.

I had a FABULOUS time!  We stuck around for several hours, and there was not one person I did not THOUROUGHLY enjoy catching up with.

The first photo is of myself with three of the four gals who set this whole thing up!  The fourth is gal is behind the camera.

David, Tom, Tim, DanOf my closest group of buds from elementary / junior high school, two of us went on to high school together, two more went to another high school together, and the fifth went to a third high school.  Unfortunately, only four out of the five of us made it to the get-together.  I was disappointed not to see the missing classmate and friend, but the four of us present talked about getting all five of us together some time for a “guys night out”.  This would really be something to look forward too.  Guys, if you are reading this – let’s make SURE this happens once it warms up again!

Afterwards a number of photographs (the ones from above – “stolen” with permission) from the get-together started showing up on FB.  One of the ladies who organized the get-together made an observation…  She said the photo above reminded her of an old photo I have (and posted a long time ago) of the same group of friends – apparently we were all standing in the same formation!

I checked back, and sure enough – there it was!  Not only were we standing in the same formation, but we were standing in front of a red-brick backdrop in each (and even a doorway on the right side of the pic) !! 


WOW!  Talk about Deja-Vu!

David, Tom, Tim, Dan - 2011 / 1983    David, Tom, Tim, Dan - 2011 / 1983 

Top photo – 2011
Bottom photo – 1983
28 Years Later!


Chris, Kris, Cindy, MaryMargaretI cannot call this post complete without a couple of last shout outs.

First – to the gals who gave up their “ladies night” and coordinated this (first of hopefully many) get togethers – a HUGE thank you!!

Finally, (but certainly not least of all) I’d like to send out a very special prayer and wish for our classmate who has fallen ill.  My thoughts and prayers go out to D.D. (and his entire family) for a FULL and SPEEDY recovery.  I have high hopes that when we do get our little “Family” (quotation marks intended) together again – that you will be there!


For those of you who where there – THANK YOU!  Despite all the years, you still all feel like family to me.  For those of you who were not there, you are never too far from my thoughts and prayers – and I hope that one day soon our paths will cross again!

Just a few of my "Family" (Quotation Marks Intended)

It Was Only a Year Ago…

This was one year ago…


This is today…


The top video was taken January 18, 2011 – after a slight warm up in temps allowed me to get out and chisel away an almost 6 inch crust of hard packed snow off my driveway (link).  The driveway looked so good (cleared off in the middle of January) that I had to take a video – well, that and the almost four foot mounds of snow on the edges of the driveway.

Fast forward one year and two days.

The second video was taken January 20, 2012 – after a trifle of snow fell upon us.  As you can see in the video – you can still see GRASS in our lawn.  True Minnesotans are embarrassed by this winter. 

The good news is that I have heard that February may be a very snowy month for us.  Let’s hope it will make up for the lack of snow over the past two months…

Mother Nature, are you listening?

E-Reading

It’s time I share my plan to resolve the LACK OF READING in my life.  (Link to previous post)


It’s not often that we spend our money on frivolous items.  When we do, it usually has something to do with the kids.  Yet, I’m a guy, and like most guys, I love “gadgets”.  While I cannot deny that I enjoy (and have been known to collect) my fare share of gadgets, I have seen (and know) many fellas who put me to shame.  I like to think / believe that I am on the low end of that bell curve.  Unfortunately, gadgets = frivolous items and frivolous items = money.  You do the math.    

But (like I said) I am a guy, and guys love their gadgets.

Over the past couple of years I have been completely intrigued by the concept of the e-reader.  I kept hearing about how convenient they are for portability, how much easier they are on the eyes (over LED/LCD screens), and the whole concept of easier access to reading materials equating to more time reading.

I have had a hard time justifying the cost / benefit ratio of such a device, but the gadget guy in me (who does a pretty good job of justifying the “need” for such frivolous items) has kept an eye on the e-reader market.  Kindle, Nook, and a smattering of other various generic names have come and gone from my radar.  I have scoured the refurbished markets, the discount and closeout websites, the clearance isles of department stores, and various other “brick and mortar” outlets, but gadget guy just has not been strong enough to convince the practical side of me to take the plunge. 

Throughout this past holiday season, there was a lot of talk about this year’s “hot item” – the e-readers.  Of course that piqued gadget guy’s interest.  I did a little research on them and would sneak off and spend a little time with each of the Kindle’s and the Nooks while we were Christmas shopping. 

Thanks a few extra hours of overtime, I decided to step outside of the box, and do something a little unexpected.  I decided that not only was I going to buy myself an e-reader – but I was going to buy one for the Mother of Five too! 

Yup, you read it right!  TWO of them!            

IMG_0764[1]Since I was going to buy two units, I decided we would pick up the entry level model.  While shopping (not for an e-reader but looking at the e-readers) another customer told us about a 20% off “bag sale” at a nearby retailer that also included the e-readers!

That 20% off was just enough to allow Gadget guy to overpower my practical side, and we decided to splurge and take the plunge.  We decided upon the Kindle Touch (with special offers).  

We have had them for a couple of weeks now and I am LOVING mine!!  Even the kids want to read on them!

Around Thanksgiving, an “anonymous” donor generously donated ten Nook Colors for the kids school (St. John’s)! The kids enjoy spending time on them at school already!

What I really like about the Kindle is Amazon’s selection of e-books!  Not only do they offer the best sellers, they offer copies of the “royalty free” classics, and a lot of new and inspiring author’s work at low prices, discounted promotions, and some even at no cost! 

Every day I get email updates from various websites highlighting books that have been discounted or free for the day!  Our Kindles are filling up faster then I expected!  

So far I have already finished one book and am half way through my second (which, if you are keeping score is more than I have read in the past two years).

51p tnuWIEL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA300_SH20_AA278_PIkin4,BottomRight,-45,22_AA300_SH20_OU01_1.  Learn Me Good by John Pearson

This was a great read!  It is a comedy written as “chapters” in the form of e-mails sent by a first year elementary school math teacher to his friend (a former co-worker) from a previous career as a mechanical engineer.  As I read this book, I could not help but think of AtHomeDaddy (who is currently in his second year teaching elementary school math, and I loved hearing about his first year experiences!)

 

51FDwUS9E0L._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA300_SH20_AA278_PIkin4,BottomRight,-41,22_AA300_SH20_OU01_2.  Letters From Alcatraz by Michael Esslinger

There is something about the mystique of Alcatraz that caught my attention.  This book is about the history of, and views of the infamous prison through the eyes of both prisoners, their families, or the Correctional officers through copies of actual correspondence letters to and from those somehow touched by “the rock”.  So far it has been a great read! 

Once I finish Letters From Alcatraz – I have so many choices to choose from I don’t know where I ‘m going to go.  Since the first book was a comedy, and the second was a non-fiction, I think it’s time to get back to my “go-to” genre – Horror.

51WdaR44ZRL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA300_SH20_AA278_PIkin4,BottomRight,-40,22_AA300_SH20_OU01_51I Nl8jCaL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA300_SH20_AA278_PIkin4,BottomRight,-46,22_AA300_SH20_OU01_As of right now there are two books “on deck” – not sure which one comes next.  It will either be…  Forsaken – A Novel of Art, Evil, and Insanity by Andrew Van Wey or The Red Church by Scott Nicholson.

From there, I’d like to take a look at that list of “Lowlights” from high school and see about making good on some of those “assigned, but never read” list!

I’m not sure how or when, but I’d like to install a “currently reading” widget on the side of the blog – that way (if you want to) you can keep up with what I’m reading (and I can keep track of how much I have been reading)!!

The only real problem I have with this Kindle is that my reading list is growing faster than I can keep up!!  It has been really fun seeing how something so simple can (and has) reenergized an interest in reading!!  If you are on the fence about e-readers – I say go for it!  We have not had any regrets!

I Used to Read

When I was young lad (kindergarten through third grade) I was classified as a “strong reader” by my teachers and was clumped with the advanced readers in my class.  It was in the middle of my third grade year that our family moved from Minneapolis to Bloomington and we ended up switching schools.  I am not sure what happened (well, other than moving and switching schools) but the categorization of being a “strong reader” disappeared afterwards.  It’s a theory, but I suspect it may be because this is about the age that reading gets separated from “leisure” to “assigned”.  I often struggle with “assigned” reading.  In a nutshell - If it does not catch my interest, there is little chance I will finish what I have started.

Looking back now, I can see that even as a young child I have always been intrigued with the horror genre.  One of my earliest memories of finding a book I wanted to read was at the point where I was still having books read to me and/or I was just starting to read Dick and Jane books on my own.  I remember seeing a book in the “teenage” section of the public library with an illustration of a human skull surfacing through the cracked mud of a dry river bed.  Every time I went to the library, I tracked that book down and stared at the cover (sometimes multiple times per visit).  I do not remember the title or author of that book and (as an adult) I have tried to search that book out to no avail.  I’d LOVE to find that book and read it – just to satisfy the “five year old” in me!

One of my favorite early reader books (and I still have a copy of it) is The Ghost of Dibble Hollow.  Doing a quick Google search on this title shows me that I was not alone.  There are LOTS of references to that book!  Recently (within the last ten years) I have even re-read that book.    

There was another book I read that I would LOVE to track down.  I do not recall the title or the author.  My parents bought it for me at a department store (J.C. Penny’s or Sears) It was a discount hard cover book with a terrible quality binding, and I believe it had a purple cover.  All I recall is that the book was about a haunted “Ghost Town”…      

In 1979 (at the ripe ol’ age of 10) Steven King’s Salem’s Lot was made into a TV Mini-series.  While I am certain that my parents would have NEVER allowed us to watch it, we had a babysitter both nights it aired, and we watched it.  It scared the bee-jee-bees out of me.  I had to cover my eyes, and peek through cracks in my fingers, and had nightmares for weeks afterwards, but I could not resist.  This was foreshadowing a sign of things to come.

In my early teens our family took a summer vacation road trip.  I grabbed a book to take along with me from the library.  There was nothing more than then name that initially intrigued me.  The book was titled The Dead Zone.  It was the first time I remember being COMPLETELY captivated by a book.  Intrigued by the author’s style, I sought out more.  That’s when I noticed he was also responsible for Salem’s Lot.  I latched on to anything Steven King wrote!  I could not get enough of his work.  

In high school, under the tutelage of my Literature teachers Ms. Hanley and Mrs. Hanson, I was “assigned” a number of literary pieces to read.  (Assigned being the key phrase here.)  Much to their chagrin (and reflective in my Lit grades), I am living proof that “assigned” does not always result in actually having read these works. 

A few highlights – I did complete (most of) and found at least a moderate interest in Julius Caesar, and The Lord of the Flies.  I actually finished (and thoroughly enjoyed) Flowers for Algernon and Frankenstein.  (Flowers for Algernon? Really?  Why?  It is such a complete departure from what I usually enjoy.  I have NO idea what it was about that novel that caught my interest, but it did.  Mrs. Hanson was THRILLED!)       

A few lowlights – I never did read a word of The Catcher in the Rye, Romeo and Juliet, Hamlet, The Scarlet Letter, To Kill a Mockingbird, Death of a Salesman, Twelve Angry Men, The Grapes of Wrath, Ethan Frome, The Glass Menagerie, and a number of other titles that seemed so utterly forgettable that I (embarrassingly) cannot even recall their titles.

As you can plainly see, the list of lowlights is much longer than the list of highlights (and remember, some of the highlights were only partially read).  But worry not dear readers, while I did not partake in the works listed above, I did manage to read The Dead Zone, Carrie, Salem’s Lot, The Shining, The Stand, Pet Cemetery, Cujo, Christine, Firestarter, and a number of other Steven King horror classics!

This highlight / lowlight pattern continued through high school and into my college years.

I was once chastised by a college professor for reading Steven King’s It in her class.  I had the book nestled in the class text book, but I was so engrossed in the book that I did not notice her wandering around the class room (where she noticed me reading it).  It was not until she returned to the front of the classroom and proclaimed (for all to hear) “Mr. Father-of-five, I know I am not as engrossing as Mr. King, but I would appreciate it if you put his work away until after my class”.  

I worked my way through King’s collection of works, and then latched on to a hodgepodge of various other authors and titles.  During and after college, my attention was drawn away from reading and redirected towards my friends, work, and later marriage, fatherhood, homeownership, and so many other responsibilities I cannot begin to count. (Remember folks, I only have twenty fingers and toes in which to count upon.)  This downward spiral in reading continued until my transformation to the busy Father of Five that you see before you was complete.  I don’t like it, but My life has pretty much consumed any time / mental capacity / and energy I once had for reading.  I think (at this point) I am lucky if I average (and I am being generous with myself here) one book / novel a year.     

I hope that is about to change!!  (Stay tuned…)

If you are / were voyeuristic enough to have actually found this post interesting – be sure to check out The Horror in My Life – an older post (from 2007) dedicated to my love of the horror literary genre.

Legacy

Relatively speaking, I reside in “small town” Minnesota. 

Yes, I am still part of the “seven county metro area”, and our town is what I consider to be within the furthest reaches of the “rings of suburbia”, but nevertheless we are a fairly isolated little city with a population slightly over 5000, and surrounded by rural farmland. 

Ever since I was a young boy I have been intrigued by the history of the cities I have lived in.  I own a copy of “Bloomington on the Minnesota” (where I grew up) and I own both volumes of “Jordan, Minnesota:  A Newspaper Looks at a Town” (where we live now). 

IMG_0445On a “historical” note - I attended one of #4 of 5’s basketball games a few days ago.  While seated and waiting for the game to start, a couple of our town’s “ol’ timers” came up behind me and asked if the seats ahead of me were taken.  I turned around and noticed the grandfathers of two of my daughter’s team-mates (and a couple of her closest friends). 

As these men settled into their seats, I was suddenly aware of something I guess I always known, but never put together before.  These two gentleman (sitting here side by side) have some very deep roots in, and have had an amazing influence upon our town.  They are what I would consider pillars of our community, and each are the patriarchs of families that have become synonymous with our little town.   

I could not help but contemplate (and marvel at the thought of) just how much of our town’s history was sitting right in front of me.

It is out of respect for them and for their families that I won’t be posting their names here, but I am confident that if you spend any amount of time here in Jordan you will have some sort of (positive) interaction with something or someone that can be associated with these honorable men. 

I can only hope that one day the legacy of the Father of Five family name will be viewed as favorably as these two and their extended families. 

Not the Why, But the How

When I first started blogging, I stumbled upon a number of similar minded folks doing the same sort of thing (if you haven’t done so yet, be sure to check out my BLOGROLL to see what I am talking about).  Some of those links are to active blogs, some are to less active blogs, and others link to blogs that have not been updated in a LONG time.  Every one of them I connected with at one point on one level or another.  Even when they appear to have fallen off the face of the earth, I have kept their feed in my reader just hoping that one day they would return.

I was delighted to have seen a recent rejuvenation in one of those blogs!  The Adventures of Charlie Blockhead has now posted nearly as many posts since the new year started as he had in all of 2011.  I am excited about his newfound inspiration (and urge any other “dad-bloggers” out there who have never done so to swing by and take a peek).  He’s a real down to earth guy, and I enjoy his viewpoints.

Anyway, Charlie Blockhead’s most recent post got me thinking about my own experiences blogging.  Not thinking so much the part about “stats” (I’m a voyeur at heart, and am not afraid to say how much I love my stats, even the low ones!), and not even so much the “why” I blog (you can follow the link or check out my right sidebar right up at the top for that), but Charlie Blockhead’s post got me reflecting more the “HOW” it all started.

Much like Charlie Blockhead, a part of “fatherhood” scared me.  It was not the first child, or the second, or even the third.  For some reason, it was the fourth, and then the fifth that really threw me for a loop.  I was scared and even a little embarrassed by the growing “number” behind The Life of a Father of ______.  The fear of the costs and financial / emotional commitments got to be a bit overwhelming in my head.

It was after #4 of 5 was born.  Much like Charlie Blockhead, I turned to the internet in search of something anything that would help ease my concerns.  Do you know what I found?  Nothing.  Zilch.  Nada.  (At least not what I was searching for.)  I was even more discouraged – until a thought occurred to me.  If I could not find what I was looking for, why not CREATE what I was looking for.

I battered the idea around in my mind and after a couple of weeks before I started up a Yahoo Group called “Fathers of Large Families”.  I was certain that this group would grow, and become a haven for fellas much like myself.  I set it up with a forum, and a chat room, and place for photos, and videos.  It was going to be the quintessential hang out.  As each day passed with no new members (or obvious bot-members posting adds and links to pornographic garbage) it became apparent that my dreams of moderating a global network of fathers of large families would never come to fruition.  As time went on life got busy and my interest waned.

Then the news of #5 of 5 came along.  History repeating itself.  After the chaos of bringing another new baby into the house settled down, and we found ourselves settling back into a routine again, I turned to the net for help one more time – only this time instead of looking outward to others to provide me with what I wanted,  I turned introspective – and decided that documenting my thoughts / experiences was the way to go.

Within days of opening up shop I started discovering and networking with other “dad-bloggers” out there, and The Life of a Father of Five started down the path of becoming what it is today.

Welcome 2012

Well, here we are, the dawn of yet another new year.

2011 has been quite the ride indeed. It will officially go down in the annals of FOF history as one of the most tumultuous years of my life. Despite its frenzied tempo, a couple of notable setbacks, a painful absence, and my eagerness to see it in my rear view mirror, I refuse to complain. You see, I have so much more to be grateful for than what I have to complain about – and after all things considered, a life of blessings that outweigh the obstacles is truly something to be thankful for.

I know it’s customary to greet the New Year with a few “resolutions” – but I’m not going to make any. Not publicly or privately. Not a one.

Instead, as I bid adieu to 2011, I will welcome 2012 with hope and optimism that we can overcome our tribulations while remaining grateful for all the good things we have in our lives and for the courage to face any new obstacles with dignity.

That is also my wish for all of you.

Merry Christmas! (Better late than never…)

 

From our family to yours!

Back row:  Father of five, #2 of 5, #1 of 5, #3 of 5, Mother of five
Front Row:  #5 of 5, #4 of 5.


IMG_0436

A Guest Writer

My sister and I were talking the other day about a little bit of this and about a little bit of that when our conversation led us to a particular topic.  Afterwards, I told my sister that her thoughts would made a great story, and that she should write down as a fond memory for her kids to one day enjoy.  Not surprisingly, she did just that, then sent it to me. 

It is with her kind permission that I am posting her story (complete with her photos) here as a “guest writer”.

Enjoy! 


Welcome Back Guys…Its Been Way Too Long!
"He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says.”   - Revelation 3:22

PART ONE:  The Mystery Friends

Who? In the last month or so, I have had some regular visits to my house from a couple of old “guy” friends.  We go “way back.”  The three of us used to spend a lot of time together, and it’s been a long-standing friendship spanning a lot of time throughout my life.  These old friends just turned up “on my doorstep” recently, and it was a wonderful, unexpected surprise.   It’s a good thing my husband is a trusting man because they hang around off and on throughout the day most days now, and sometimes even late at night.  My two boys even like them, and don’t mind them hanging around.  They have even been around for mealtime, most especially around suppertime…funny though... they never ask to eat, and I don’t think it’s because of my cooking.


These friends must be a couple of really special people that I feel very comfortable around, because both have seen me in my pajamas…and even without makeup or hair done!  Sometimes, if they visit late in the evening after the kids go to bed, I might even share a glass of wine with one or both of them.  My husband supports, and even promotes, this behavior believe it or not.   (Again…I write for a G-Rated audience…so read on… -wink-)  When my friends come over, I don’t really talk to them much, or even really at all.  It’s not that kind of relationship.  With these two friends, I just listen.  I have a history of being a VERY good listener to my two friends.  After being away from these guys for such a long time, I am really enjoying hearing what they have to say to me.  I find comfort and inspiration by their presence, and we have a lot of fun together.  The old saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" certainly is true about my friends.  Good friends lift each other up, and that’s what they do for me.  That’s how really good friends are over the years.   I hope they keep coming around for a long, long time.   I have really missed these guys.    


PART TWO:  Let Me Introduce You….  (Drum roll please)

Piano KeysI guess I will stop speaking cryptically at this point…although it’s kind of fun to get my audience thinking and guessing.  The two friends that I speak of are figurative  friends.  They are the piano composers George Winston and Jim Brickman (and  others like them, but these are my most favorite).  Oh, how I love the music of these two composers…or rather, their style of music.

I am a piano player…not a tremendously GREAT piano player…but a piano player none-the-less.  I won’t get into the story of how I began to play, and how I have played on and off over the years…that will be for another post.  But, I will give enough information now to tell this story, and how it relates to my two figurative friends.

I took piano lessons as a child, and loved to play, but it was never easy for me.  Looking back now with the insight of an adult, I think I never really learned the notes well because I have such an unbelievably strong ear.  My greatest strength (by far) in playing is most definitely “by ear.”  I can read music, but it is definitely not a strength of mine.  The word "struggle" would be a better description of my ability to read written music.  I can play most songs I attempt (with enough repetition and listening practice) by ear fairly well.  Without being conscious of what I was doing, I recall repeating songs by hearing them, as young as maybe 8 or 9 years old. 

George Winston - Winter Into Spring By the time I was about 14 or 15 years old, I was actively trying to learn to play using only my ears to guide me. Around the same time, whole new world of musical style opened up to me when I started to listen to the music of George Winston.  His style is so soulful and expressive.  It was a new and different style at the time, and it touched something deep inside my musical heart.  The only way I can describe this style is that it is akin to heartbeat… how I hear my own heartbeat.  I so loved this music, and it was available at the time on audio cassette only.  My first “tape” of his was entitled “Winter Into Spring.”  One of my favorites on the album was a song entitled “February Sea.” I so loved the song, however, it was not available in print at the time.  None of his music was.  It was long before the time of internet, and easily attainable music at the click of a mouse.  My only option at the time was to learn by listening. 


With much determination, I set my goal to learn the piece.  After listening to the song probably more than 100 times, both in part and whole, I finally learned the song...or at least my version of it.  I am surprised that I did not wear out the buttons on my “boom box.”  (I am also thankful to my very patient mother who was always so happy to hear me play, even when my music was far from perfect.)  It was amazing both to listen to…and imagine… now to actually PLAY!!!  What was amazing to me is that because of the relative difficulty of the piece, I would NEVER have been able to play it had I had the sheet music in front of me.  It was a strange sensation to be able to play a piece of this complexity without reading any written music.  Another odd thing I noticed was that I would make mistakes if I looked at my hands while I played.  Somehow, the mistakes would stop if I either closed my eyes while I played or looked in another direction away from my fingers on the keyboard.  That is definitely not the case with written music for me!  

After I mastered “February Sea,” I played the song a few times at some special events and “talent shows” at the high school I was attending.  The music teacher always gave me accolades for playing without a single note in front of me.  Most people who can read music well have no concept of playing without the guidance of the written note.  I am in the other “camp.”  I play best using my ears as my guide.  I default to printed notes if I must.  I wish I could read notes more, but I feel it is a weakness I will probably always struggle with.  Over the years, though, I have found great satisfaction in struggling to learn a written piece and finally being able to play it well in that form.  It’s kind of a learned satisfaction that I have come to appreciate over time.  It’s the kind of joy that emerges after a long struggle.

MN State Fair



From a friend at the time, I heard about a talent competition at the Minnesota State Fair.  After discussing it with my parents, with their encouragement, I decided to give it a try.  It was kind of scary to think of doing this, but I was determined.  A few weeks after trying out, I foundout that I was accepted into  the competition. 

 

On a clear and beautiful, late summer night, I played my song, “February Sea” in the bandshell at the Minnesota State Fair.  The combination of darkness with the stage lights proved to be an incredible sensation to the young girl that I was.  This was a very new feeling for me… playing in front of an audience of this magnitude!  The bandshell seated up to 5,000 people.  While it wasn’t filled to capacity, I can definitely say that it was mostly full.  I recall my parents sitting very near the front right next to where the piano was located on the stage.  I was so thankful to feel their presence with me! 

My Sis on the piano

When I walked onto the stage, my nervousness subsided (with lots of prayer!) and I played without a single mistake.  I think that is part of what happens when you play by ear.  The music becomes muscle memory, and the mind becomes submissive to the hands.  As I played, I lost the audience.  The music and I were the only ones in company together.  It was an indescribable feeling, one I have never since felt, but one that I will definitely remember for the rest of my life.  


PART THREE:  Postscript - There’s Always A Lesson In The Story …

My Sis after the show
There were all kinds of “acts” performing that night.  I wasn’t really concerned about who would “win,” or who would come in what place. 

For me, it was about sharing the music I had worked so hard to learn in such an unconventional way. 

As it turns out, I did make 3rd place in over 25 varying acts.

In the last month or so, I have once again taken up regular practice on the piano.  With our sons out of the very young childhood age, I now feel like I have the time and energy to be able to devote to the piano once again.  While I will likely never be considered a “great” pianist, and will likely never be able to read music well, I am very much enjoying the talent that God intended me to have.  Recognizing the true value of this specific gift has helped me realize something...If I spend too much energy on wishing that I can do something that I likely may never be able to, I waste precious time in developing the talents either I do have, or have not even discovered yet.

As I look back at the joy and the gifts my ear has brought me, I don’t think I would exchange my “ear” for perfect music reading skills if given the choice.  It definitely is not an easy means of learning music, but maybe there is more to it than that.  Maybe God gave me my “ear” to really pay attention to “hear” things in my life, of my family and friends, and those around me.  After all, one has to be a good listener to play by ear!   I hope I can always (as the Revelation verse says) "hear what the Spirit says with my ear."  It’s an interesting thought to ponder…  I now choose to recognize, embrace, and fully claim the gift of “ear” that God gave me.  I see how it has added so much satisfaction and joy to my life.  What I initially thought was a weakness, I see now, has actually always been a strength.  How you look at something sometimes makes all the difference.    

Daytime view of MN State Fair Bandshell

 

 

 

Daytime View of the Bandshell

 

 

 

 

 

 


Muscle memory definitely is one that stands the test of time.  26 years later, I can still play “February Sea,” (even after not playing it for months, and even years!) and I still have to look away or close my eyes if I make mistakes!

Youtube link to "February Sea"  by George Winston

 


The piece that I am learning and working on now is called “If You Believe” by Jim Brickman.  Technology sure makes things easier today!  Instead of constantly rewinding my “tape,” I can keep my laptop adjacent to the piano, and play along during the difficult parts!!!  Its really the perfect marriage between ear and written music.  I have officially made it through the first page, and I can’t wait to master the rest… –smile-*

Youtube link to "If You Believe" by Jim Brickman


Christmas Preparation

Christmas preparation (among numerous other obligations) have really put a damper on the time I have available to update The Life of a Father of Five.  I have a couple of SIGNIFICANTLY overdue posts that I still need to complete, but I want to give them the attention they deserve – So they are on the back burner for a little bit.  (That’s ok.  After all, I just recently posted about not pressuring myself into blogging, and left some feedback for a new dad blogger who was dealing with similar feelings himself.)

One of the Christmas Preparation items I had on my To-Do list was to help the girls’ school set up the stage and risers for their Christmas program.  We started on Sunday, but had to finish up on Monday morning.  After starting bright and early Monday morning, we had to stop for a church service held by Deacon Gary.  I ran home completed a couple of other tasks, returned to St. John’s and we started back up.  Just as I was finishing the last of the connections on the risers, I heard the distinct sounds of a class on their way in to the church to practice for the program. 

I was delightfully surprised to see it was #5 of 5’s class!!  (The surprised look on her face and that little wave of her hand brightened my day like nothing else could have!!)

So I finished up the riser, gathered up my tools, and snapped a couple of pictures (snapped a couple of pictures is code for “got a sneak peek of the class’s contribution to the annual Christmas Program”).

#5 of 5 is in the front row – second from the right side – wearing white tights.  Sorry for the low quality photos, my camera phone is “adequate” at best. 

Christmas Program Prep  Christmas Program Prep Christmas Program Prep

I Had a Plan!

The two previous Thanksgivings, I had a plan.  Two years ago it was not much more than a thought in my head.  I never followed through.  I told myself I would try again “next year”. 

Last year I came even closer to implementing my plan.  I posted a couple of “teases” about it on FB.


“Trying to decide…  Is this the year???” (link)
(which was followed up with several witty comments by my friends)

“If it's going to be this year, I need to pull the trigger today! ("trigger", not "finger")” (link)
(which was also followed up with several witty comments by my friends)


I never did announce what the plan was.  (Truthfully, I wanted to document the experience here – and did not want to ruin the surprise) So, I told myself that I would try again “next year”.

So, here we are at “next year”.  I had a couple of precursory reminders of my plan.  First, in the form of a coupon and recipe that came in the newspaper – then in the form of a little “father / daughter time”. 

As a little extra inspiration, I sent another “ambiguous” facebook update..  


“Ooooo. I got a plan!!!” (link)
(which was followed up with several witty comments by my friends)


The parking lot of my White CastleSo as I woke for work (at 3am) on Wed. morning, I planned on grabbing my coupon / recipe on my way out the door.  It should be no surprise to many of you when you discover that when I arrived at work I realized that I forgot the coupon and recipe.  I did not care.  I was gong to fulfill the plan regardless.

By the end of the day I had almost forgotten about the plan – that was until a co-worker who I had spoken to about my plan reminded me!  As I left work, I called home to check which of the ingredients we had, and which ones we needed – stopped by and picked up all that we needed from the grocery store, and then – stopped for the main ingredient.

WHITE CASTLE STUFFING!!!

Ingredients for White Castle StuffingI arrived home with ingredients in hand.  Immediately #5 of 5 recognized the bag – and that brought #4 of 5 out to check what was going on too.  I told them of my plans, and asked if they would join me in my endeavor.     

The girls ate dinner, then we cleaned the kitchen and gathered the necessary ingredients and tools to get the job done!

We washed hands, and started digging in.  First step, cut, rip, tear, chop, slice, or disembowel 10 plain White Castle hamburgers (no ketchup, mustard or pickles).

 

 

 Cutting the burgers for White Castle Stuffing   Cutting the burgers for White Castle Stuffing

Be sure to check out the video too! 
(Am I doing this right?  As long as there are no chunks of fingers in there then you are!)

Once the burgers were all cut, ripped, torn, chopped, sliced, and disemboweled – it was time to add the rest of the ingredients.  1 1/2 cup chopped celery, 1 1/4 teaspoon ground thyme, 1 1/2 teaspoon ground sage, 3/4 teaspoon coarse ground black pepper, and 1/4 cup chicken broth.  I had the girls “toss” the cut, ripped, torn, chopped, sliced, and disemboweled burgers while I sifted and poured in the other ingredients.

Mixing up some White Castle Stuffing

We spent about 30 minutes in total putting it together.  (I think it could have been done in much less time but we made it a fun little adventure – so it took a little longer.)

I gotta say (although, as a White Castle fan you could say I am biased) but by the time we were done, and it was all assembled – it was really looking (and smelling) quite intriguing!  By “intriguing” I mean good! 

I took only one very tiny “taste” before putting in the refrigerator – It tasted surprising a lot like a traditional stuffing!

White Castle Stuffing

Once we were finished, I sent out one last “ambigious” Facebook update…


“I love it when a "plan" comes together!!!” (link)
(which was followed up with several witty comments by my friends)


I’ll be sure to report back how it turns out!

If YOU want to try the White Castle Stuffing recipe yourself, I’d urge you to give it a try.  Click HERE!

Father, Daughters, and White Castle Stuffing

 

 

Many special thanks to my very talented and quite talented “kitchen staff” for helping make my (three years in the making) “plan” a “reality”. 

You guys (well, gals) are the best!

A Dying Breed?

I’ve noticed more than a couple of posts recently from “dad blogs” that I frequent (on an semi-infrequent basis) that have decided to call it quits. They cite several reasons for the demise (many which I myself have struggled with from time to time, and a few that I have not).

My observations is that there seems to be an informal threshold of somewhere in the four to six year lifespan on blogging. This frightens me a little bit. I am well through my fifth year, and quickly approaching my sixth year – and the quantity (and maybe even quality) of content on FOF is also waning.

I’d be lying if I were to tell you that I have not contemplated the idea a couple of times. I mean, after six years – how much more is there to talk about? When I do have a little moment of inspiration to write about something – the first thing that often pops up in my mind is… “Wait, didn’t you already write about that?” (And frequently, the answer is yes.)

I certainly cannot deny that my involvement, commitment, and interaction with FOF has changed over the years. I have gone from a almost 200 post per year rate down to (so far this year) only 51 posts. Many things contribute to this - my available time, my available energy, my available creativity. Yet, here I am – once again investing a little more of that precious time, energy, and creativity to share my thoughts with someone(?), anyone(?), no one(?) here on “The Life of a Father of Five”.

It also has to be said… Facebook has drastically changed (not only) the blogging community, but truthfully all social media and (I think one could argue) the internet as a whole.

I don’t vilify or regret my involvement with FB. In fact, it is quite the opposite. I have had wonderful experiences connecting with old friends, as well as enhancing new friendships (many which started through blogging) on FB. FB offers a different level of interaction and connection with people that blogging does not offer. Yet, let’s not forget the inverse sentiment. A blog offers something different (more) than FB offers.

I have found myself (like many others have) asking “why”. Why maintain this blog? I have numerous partial (unfinished) posts, numerous planned posts, and even more “missed opportunity” posts occupying space in my brain. It gets a bit overwhelming at times. So far I have been very careful (and to a certain point, succusful) in drawing a line in the sand, and have kept FOF an enjoyable outlet vs just another task to add to my already busy and hectic schedule. Maybe that is what keeps it working for me.

Here is what I know to be true. FOF is MY little slice of the internet. I control the content. I control the interaction. I control the privacy. I control the layout. The Life of a Father of Five is what I WANT IT TO BE, and that is what is important to me. If I choose to post once a day, or once a week, or once a month, or once a year, it does not matter. If I get a thousand hits a day or only one, it does not matter. If anyone actually reads my content or not, it doesn’t matter (goodness knows I am not winning any literary awards for my meaningless drivel) – and I am satisfied with it that way!

Life has a way of changing and so it would go without saying that FOF has and will continue to ebb and flow much in the same way. Even though I may not be present here as often as I may have in the past – I have no intentions of calling it quits. The feelings I have expressed, the experiences I have shared, the things I have learned, the friends I have made are and will continue to be an important part of who I am.

And as far as those that may still be here with me on this journey (and God willing, enjoying the ride), I thank you. Thank you for allowing me to express my feelings, share my experiences, and learn a little bit together. You all have become some of the best friends around – real or virtual. You all are the frosting on the cake of “The Life of a Father of Five”.

My Daughter’s First

She’s seven years old, and as far as I can recall, this was the first time…

At White Castle with my daughterYup!  She has now officially been indoctrinated into the wonderful world of the White Castle!!

After work I had to drive home, pick up #4 of 5 and bring her back to the Mother of Five’s workplace so that they could go do some clothes shopping together.  With the boys home in full-on “Skyrim” mode I had my doubts that they would even know that#5 of 5 was in the house - So, I decided to take her with me, and after dropping #4 of 5 off, I would take #5 of 5 out for some Father/Daughter time!

After dropping #4 of 5 off, I told #5 of 5 I had a surprise for her.  She kept asking me what it was, but I wouldn’t tell her until we pulled into the parking lot.  I think I may have disappointed her just a little bit because I got a moderately un-enthusiastic “oh….” after telling her we were going to have dinner together at White Castle.

She said she had eaten there before, but it was so long ago that she does not remember it…

(Just try and wrap your head around that logic…  Indeed, she is a deep thinker!)

 

At White Castle with my daughterI ordered for us, let #5 of 5 pick out our booth, and we filled our sodas while we waited for our sliders.  (She mixed a “suicide soda” (where you mix a little bit of all the sodas from the fountain together in the same cup.))   We returned to the booth, and I explained what was about to come her way!

FOUR (yup, count them… 1, 2, 3, 4) burgers and an order of fries!! 

“Nuh-uh Daddy.  You did not order me four hamburgers.”
“Yup, I sure did sweetie!”
“Nuh-uh”
“Yup”
“Nuh-uh”
“Well, we will just have to wait and see then, won’t we?”

 

Maybe next time she will listen to her ‘ol man, eh?

 

Over the next ten minutes we ate our sliders together.  Then, after ten minutes, I was finished and got to spend the next thirty-five minutes watching her eat (did I mention she is a “putsy” eater) while we visited and were being silly together.  (Did you know that she can “double-fist” her french-fries – THREE in each hand?!?!  Did I mention that I have an AWESOME daughter!!)   After what seemed like an eternity of her uncanny ablity to eat at the speed of molasses, she (finally) announced that she was full.

I finished off what she had not eaten (I’m a good dad like that ya know) and we started packing up…   She then pointed out to me that the boxes could be arranged to form a “Castle” and that that is why they call the place “White Castle”  (again, with the deep thinking).

At White Castle with my daughter     At White Castle with my daughter  

I don’t know if it was the burgers, or the one-on-one company of her daddy, but she sure seemed to have a good time!  I know I sure did!

Madness at Midnight – Skyrim!

Skyrim Since June of this year #2 of 5 has been eagerly awaiting the release of a new video game.

Skyrim – the fifth game in The Elder Scrolls series… (Think “Dungeons and Dragons”)

He had saved money from his summer job – paid the reservation fee, kept track of the paperwork, and never lost focus (which is very unusual for him) as we slowly crept towards the (symbolic, or just slightly unique) release date of… 11-11-11.

Despite the much hyped “Midnight Release” of the game (that I secretly suspected he wished to partake in), #2 of 5’s “official plan” was to have me pick him up after school, take him to GameStop (where he had his game reservation), and then come home, where he and a friend (who is also an Elder Scrolls fan) would play until they, the television, or the Xbox360 dropped over in exhaustion.  I let him believe that was going to be the plan – that is, up until The Mother of Five was turning in for the night.

We had previously discussed it, and decided that (even though it was a school night and I had to be up early in the morning) I would (as a surprise) take the boys up and experience a “Midnight Video Game Release”.   (To be honest with you, I was a little curious myself.)

I was not disappointed.

I called the store ahead of time and got the “low down” on how this all works…

-  Store closes at 9pm.
-  Store reopens at 10pm.
-  Customers bring in their preorder receipt.
-  Customers pay their balance, and get their receipt stamped “Paid”.
-  Customers get in line waiting for midnight.
-  After midnight, customers present receipt stamped “paid” and receive their shiny new copy of Skyrim.

While not part of the “official” low down, based on my observations, I’d like to add one more bullet point.

- Customer takes their shiny new copy of Skyrim home, and begins an all night caffeine fueled video game bingefest until the collapse from exhaustion.

So, at the end of an already long day we headed out, arriving at the store just before 11pm where #2 of 5 fulfilled all his “pre-midnight” requirements.  There was close to 30 other customers in the store at this time.

 Skyrim Release Skyrim Release Skyrim Release

(Yeah, I do look pretty tired in that pic… Thanks for asking)

By 11:05pm the stream of customers entering the store to fulfill their “pre-midnight” requirements started growing and the line of customers who had their stamped receipt was overtaking the store – so the staff had to move the stamped receipt line outside the store.

Skyrim Release Skyrim Release


temps

 

 

For those of you who are not licensed math teachers….  Let me share a little equation with you…

November (+) Minnesota (x) 1 hour standing outside (=) Cold
(even for a “well insulated” native Minnesotan such as myself)

Thankfully, the neighboring coffee shop has free open WiFi that helped distract me from the cold by allowing me to pass the time on Facebook (As some of you may recall.)

 

 


#2 of 5 was the twelfth in line – ahead of him was a large group of what appeared to be friends.  Behind him the line stretched out along the strip mall.  I watched from the sideline as the line grew longer and longer by the minute.  There were some common themes among the attendees.  (Prepare for some sarcastic stereotyping ahead - Yet remember that humor often depends upon elements of truthfulness).  The group was…

 

- Predominantly male (while borderline crude, to call it a “sausage fest” would not be an exaggeration)

- 16-25 age demographic (Fitting)

- “I still live in my parent’s basement” (Need I say more?)

- A fair amount of acne. (Too busy gaming to worry about hygiene.)

- Goth, emo, skater, or just plain unkempt (hobo like) appearance.

- A large representation from extreme ends of the “body frame bell curve” (“emaciated” or “corpulent”)

- Black clothing (skinny jeans, trench coats, Converse All-Stars, etc)

- Body piercings

- Overly caffeinated bravado and machismo. (Not sure why, see first observation)

- Extreme braggardly, theatric and exaggerated stories, jokes, and tales told from their tremendous base of knowledge and life experiences.

Yeah, I joke a little there, but they were the typical gamer type…  Nothing to out of the ordinary.  Expected behaviors – a little profanity, bizarre humor (I’m pretty certain I heard more than one Monty Python quote), and lots of “gamer talk”…  Enough to make me quietly smile (and sometimes subtly shake my head in disbelief) as I listened in.  Nothing I would not expect to hear from any group of 16-25 year olds.  Yet, all seemingly pretty decent.


Skyrim Release

 

 

 

Although there was one customer there that deviated SIGNIFICANTLY from the standard demographic. 

Gaming Grandma or picking up a copy for her son / grandson. 

You make the call. 

(FYI – Pretty cool of her to be there either way in my opinion!!)

 

 

 


grape cigarsI do have one tip for the group at the head of the line though…  Take it from a seasoned cigar smoker.  Grape flavored cigarillos not only smell HORRIFIC (and I can only imagine how they would taste), they do NOTHING for your “manliness”…  If you are going to enjoy a cigar, it’s time put your big boy pants on, and smoke a REAL cigar. 

Suggestions include: Romeo y Julieta, H. Upman, Arturo Funte, or La Gloria Cubana. 

(A nice oily Maduro would give you extra manliness points!)  

As we waited and the line grew much longer, one car driving through the parking lot caught my attention.  It was driving with its windows down (slightly unusual for a November night in Minnesota).  I watched it as it slowly drove past the long line of customers.  From where I stood (away from the line) I could hear the passenger yell “Fags” with a volume that I could hear, but those standing in line (talking about all things video game related) did not hear.  I even turned to see if anyone noticed…  Only one person (besides myself) did.  Then from several lanes away, the driver and passenger started yelling much louder (enough to be noticed) – but they were so far away it was intelligible.   So much for the haters.

The time came – Midnight… The witching hour… 11-11-11… SKYRIM!!

   Skyrim Release

Staff popped out and started counting off.  They let the first ten in.  As quickly as they went in, they were heading out – game (or in one case a Skyrim themed Xbox system).  #2 of 5 was second or third in line in the next group.  I quickly snapped a photo, and before I could even switch from camera to video mode, he had his game in hand and was already heading (skipping?  You be the judge) out the door – game in hand.

I was a little worried at first… He was so excited that I contemplated putting plastic down over the car seats, just in case he was going to have an “accident” in the seat of the van… (Thankfully, he was able to hold his bladder…)

Once we are safely in the car #2 of 5 turns to me and says “Oh my gosh Dad, did you see all the “freaks” out there?”  I look over to him and simply shake my head.  I don’t think he fully understood the irony in his statement.  After all, wasn’t he (we) just a part of that circus?

I fully accept and embrace my freaky geeky self.  #2 of 5 has not yet come to terms with his…

Skyrim ReleaseWe made it home where #2 of 3 wanted me to picture text a couple of his friends with a photo of him and his newly obtained treasure (mocking them, I suspect).  After sending said text, I was able to snap one last picture before he headed off to bed - scurrying downstairs with the game curled tightly in his arm like Gollum and  his “precious”.

As I contemplated writing this post, it occurred to me…  Ya know, if Skyrim was came  out when I was 16 – I would have wanted to wait in line too!!

Question for my readers….

How long do you think before I’ll be able to squeak out a few minutes of Xbox time (that is not monopolized by the boys and Skyrim) to play ??   

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