So this is how it begins...

A moment in time...  A life of crime...  That's all it took, to become a crook...

Yeah, ok.. So I'll never be a poet - but after yesterday's "fiasco", I may have to consider a life of crime.

As most "large families" can attest, getting ANYWHERE on time is a challenge... There is bound to be one or two that can't find their socks, shoes, need to go potty, need one last drink, forgot (fill in the blank), needs (fill in the blank again), or having been lost in the confusion (in Home Alone fashion) is still in their pajamas.  We are no strangers to this generalized rule

Yesterday was no exception.  Church started at 8:00 am, and we were leaving the house at... PERCISLY 8:00 am.  Needless to say we were rushed.

Now being the "extreme" kind of guy I am - I have recently gone from one extreme to the other.  If you are a regular from WAY back, you may remember my post titled "A 'Key' to Happiness".  There you will find a story (and photo) of my key ring.  I used to (used to being the operative phrase here) carry ALL the possible keys I would ever need in a day (and a few I would almost never need).  I was teased.  I was made fun of.  I was ridiculed for my keys.

When I got my new car, I vowed to change my ways, and decided to go the other direction, and carry (on my key ring) only the two CAR keys.  I went from 30 some keys to 2.  Now, I do have to admit I like carrying two around much better (as do the lining in my pockets) - but I still feel naked without the rest of my keys - So I carry them with me in my work bag.  (Which on any given day is in my car...)  But since I am on vacation, I had the work bag in the house, and therefore my house key inside the house.

When we left in a hurry, I failed to remember that I left my house-key inside (as the Mother of Five usually has hers) - but since I was driving, she too left her keys at home.

Upon arriving home from church, we quickly discovered that we I had locked our family out of our own home...  MOF tried the garage service door, and I tried all the windows and doors.

burglary1We were able to access the (attached) garage - so I started digging through the garage for anything that could help me out.  I contemplated hammers, drills, crowbars, and other various BURGLAY TOOLS.

I opted for a screwdriver to try and remove a screen to the one window we oft forget to lock.  Once said screen was removed (in broad daylight) we were devastated to find that the (usually unlocked) window was locked.

I went back into the garage, and tried the service door one more time (since I never checked it myself).  I found the knob locked, but when I went to "rattle" the door - I pulled on the door, and >>click<<.  Even though the door knob was locked, the door had not latched.  In other words, I could have just pushed the door open...  But instead I locked the door...  I gave my wife a little bit of a hard time (in a joking sort of way...) and quickly broke down, knowing what I had to do.

So the children would not see how easy it was to break into our house get hurt by any flying shrapnel - I had them all leave the garage, as I took out my frustration for locking ourselves out (twice now) on the innocent lockset.

Entry was made, the decapitated lockset removed, and a spare passage set installed in it's place.  The collateral damage was minimal (a small indentation, and paint scraping to the inside of the door).

burglary2 burglary3

So begins a life of crime.  First notch in my belt... Burglary.


  1. Great story! I especially loved the part where you closed the locked service door on yourself. And that MOF had actually tried to open it before you.

    Sounds like the kind of thing that I too often manage to do.

    Glad that you got in - eventually.

  2. What a great time to use that black 'Riddler' face mask.

    I'm going to have to hide a key somewhere now. I wouldn't want to copy a post of yours.
    Great story.

  3. Hey, great to find your site - I live in a town where my four kids make me a freak. It's nice to know there are other large families out there. I also have keys on two key rings (but more in a paranoid "if I'm car jacked at least they won't have my house keys" kind of way. But yes, been there. Except I ended up boosting the kid through the window!

  4. After we lived in our house for a mere 2 hours, one of our new neighbors came over. Behind her trailed 5 little ducklings - er, I mean children. She introduced her self and her children. She then handed me a key to her house and said "You look like nice people. The people before you used to be the holders of The Key. Would you mind having a spare key to our house 'in case we ever need it.'?" I said sure and put it with our other spare keys.

    2 days later, she came over, with 5 little ducklings in tow, and asked to "borrow" The Key.

    5 years and 2 more kids later, we still see them at least twice a month to "borrow" The Key to their own home.

    You're not alone . . . oh you are so not alone :-)


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