Creativity - in the form of a new Arch-Villain

Another post from the land of "internet - limbo" with a "very special" thanks to Comcast and their inability to discover why this cable modem is being uncooperative...
Hint: Hey Comcast... This modem.. It's a RENTAL. I got a novel idea.. Instead of spending the numerous hours you claim to be trying to find out how to get this modem to cooperate, why not simply send a tech out with a NEW ONE and swap this piece of.... um... piece of "useless crap" for one that... oh, I don't know... For ONE THAT WORKS?

Ok... Bitter rant over. Think of your happy place... Think of your happy place... Think of your happy place...
Now, back to the topic at hand. In addition to having "Loads-O-Fun" with Comcast, I am having "Tons-O-Fun" at work... Putting in over twenty hours of overtime in the past several days. This has come at the cost of my sanity, my sleep cycle, and my family time.

Having seen precious little of the kiddos over the past few days - Last night we sat down for a (well needed) family dinner. Just prior to dinner, the kids were either reading or drawing in the living room. At dinner, #3 of 5 proudly announced that he has "invented" a new comic book villain. Being (what I would consider) the least "creative" (i.e. More realistic of the 5 - not a bad thing), anyway, being the least "creative" of the bunch, I got really curious as to what he could have come up with...

Comic book guy - I am not. Super-Hero guy - I am not. Creative guy - Not too much.

Yet, my own #3 of 5 has created the arch-villain... The Rotten Carrot.ã

You want to know what super powers #3 of 5 gave The Rotten Carrot? The Rotten Carrot's primary power is (and I quote) the "ability to make your vision get worse"...

What?? Make your vision get worse?? Just where in the world would that come from? What sort of sick, twisted mind comes up with a super villain who can give you glaucoma, cataracts, or astigmatism?

Oh, wait a minute... I get it now...

Eating carrots are supposedly GOOD for your eyes, so the antithesis of eating carrots for optic health, would be a "Rotten Carrot" that would cause optic degeneration.

So which nether-region of his deep dark psyche this came from, I am fearful to consider, but... consider if you will the duality of the story... The constant battle over good vs evil, over ocular health vs degradation, over vision vs blindness... It's not all that far fetched of an idea! I can hear the dialog now!
The Rotten Carrot.ã - Stay back (Insert your own super hero's name here), or you will force me to form a clouding of the crystalline lens of your eye, causing an obstruction of the passage of light into the eye, which will gradually cost you your sense of sight.

(Your own Super Hero) - Noooooo!!! I have no way to defend myself against the mighty vision debilitating powers of The Rotten Carrot. You win this round Rotten Carrot, but you can expect that I will return...
Wow... What a creative little story. GOOD JOB #3 of 5!!! There may yet be hope for a sick / twisted sense of humor outta you yet! If I ever get out of internet limbo - perhaps I could post an original drawing (made by the creator) of The Rotten Carrot!

I better get outta here - before my vision degrades...

Still waitin' to see you on the high speed end of the net!
Father of Five.


  1. Defeating this foul villain sounds like a job for the Mystery Men!

  2. I love the Rotten Carrot villain (and the make your vision bad - I got that right away:)
    Great job #3 of 5!
    Our kids love to draw and create characters too! I think this shows such great talent in our children!

  3. Faster than a rolling pea ... able to leap tall broccoli stalks in a single bound ... it's Rotten Carrot! Oh wait, that's a Super Hero introduction, isn't it? Darn, I get my Super Heros and Arch Villains all mixed up sometimes!

    Would love to see the artist's rendering once you get those fools at ComCast to bring you out a new modem!

    As for work, you have my understanding and sympathy. We have a lot of people taking vacation in August and I might just as well sleep at work for all of the extra hours I'll be putting in. Sigh ... 'tis the nature of the job, isn't it?

  4. well it sounds like you passed the 'poop so much it squirts out the diaper' super power stage!

  5. Terry - Actually, I was thinking more along the line of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force!

    But, in a pinch, I'll take anyone who can protect my optic health!

  6. If it makes you feel any better, while you are waiting for your high speed internet connection, I am still waiting for this baby to come out of me! It could be worse for you, you could be waiting for #6 of 5. MUAHAHAHAHAHA

    That's my own villian talking. I call her, The Baby that Stayed Inside of Me FOREVER!!!!!

    Very clever story BTW!

  7. I laughed so hard I couldn't see. Oh, that nefarious Rotten Carrot has done his evil work well.

  8. Great idea #3. It opens up possibilities for a whole gang of rotten vegetables and maybe even fruit.
    Keep it up.


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