R.I.P. - 1994-2008 - Teal Green Ford Escort

1.9 liter, 4 cyl, 4 door sedan, 5 speed manual, 35(+) mpg

#1 of 5 (the wayward / prodigal / M.I.A. son) called home to tell us that he crashed it for it's fifth and final time last Saturday. (That's the 5th crash in less than a year for anyone who is counting....)

Man, does this kid have a guardian angel or what... 5 crashes, and (thankfully) NO ONE (from either vehicle - each time) has been hurt...

This was the first car that the Mother of Five and I bought together after getting married, and has since been passed back and forth within the family over the years. This little vehicle required little to no maintenance over the years... It was EASILY and BY FAR the lowest maintenance vehicle I have ever had the pleasure to own...

- Leased by us.
1996-2003 - We chose not to renew the lease - Vehicle was purchased by my parents through us.
2003-2007 - Back in our hands after Parents replaced it.
2007-2008 - Given to #1 of 5 as a means to get to work - abused (literally) until it's untimely death.

While my parents had the 'scort - it was totaled in a hail storm. My parents kept the salvaged vehicle and drove it for a while - then gave it (back) to us. The "golf ball" surface of the vehicle was a running joke at my work, and particularly with my good friend Bill - "The King of Clubs" who said he could recognize the car instantly due to the hail damage... It was always worth a good laugh between us.

We gave it to #1 of 5 as a gift for doing as well as he was doing (on his own). The freedom the car provided quickly changed his lifestyle into something a bit more "reckless". Unfortunately, he did not use the newfound freedom to continue his "progression", and instead, the car became a tool of "regression".

This news (about the 'Scort) is (in my humble opinion) a blessing in disguise.. Now he will be unable to pay for insurance, let alone a replacement vehicle for some time to come. "Hoofing it" or taking the bus for a year or so is bound to help him appreciate what he had, and hopefully (when the time comes) his next vehicle, and the freedom it provides a "wee bit" more.

Little 'scort... Thank you for your years of faithful service. You will be sadly missed, and thought of fondly. Rest in peace my little friend... It is well deserved.


  1. ...Maybe he could ride that little playskool car in the foreground.

  2. Ahhh... Very good idea Terry, but alas, my 2 year old nephew is learning to drive on that one now...

    I bet I could find him a good low mileage "used" playskool car at "Once upon a Child" (2nd hand kids stuff stores)... It's bound to be safer for him, and for pretty much everyone on the road!

    But, I think after this accident, I'm not sure he will be able to afford the insurance on a playskool car...

    Again, perhaps a blessing in disguise...

  3. Dave...I had no idea that you had passed that car onto your oldest son - much less that until being used in amatuer demolition derbies it had really lasted this long. As you no doubt remember my Green 2003 Honda Accord (which from about 230 yards looked just like your Green Escort) only lasted 10 years with me plus 1 more year once in the hands of the Illegal Alien with the gold front tooth. Of course it might still be in the yard at his trailer park up on blocks but it definitely is not driving down the road. While I can understand your sorrow...understand that no other Ford Escort in North America has been through all that and been driven for so many years. Of course in South America (and Borat's home town) such a car would simply be attached to livestock for the equivalent of 2 horsepower..nay 2 mulepower - and enjoyed for many more years - or until mistaken as an al-Qaeda Chariot and vaporized in a classified manner. In honor of your loss I have gone out to my own garage and paid homage by tipping my glass of Lemon-flavored LifeWater over the hood of my Classic 1986 Mercury Topaz and watching the drops be absorbed by the dust and grime. Not even the occasional mouse that passes thru my garage would be caught dead in this Topaz...literally. Having your oldest son use mass transit and/or walk the earth should prove a very valuable lesson...5 accidents in his short driving career is hardly typical. Now...if you really want to frustrate him and keep him from behind the wheel of a motor vehicle for many more years I would be happy to give him the Classic Topaz...even after pouring many hours of hard labor and after-market parts into this car I can guarantee that it will still not move an inch under it's own power...that's how this car rolls (or more correctly DOESN'T). I always knew the Topaz would serve a greater purpose...and clearly that time has come.

  4. Ah, once again, "The Rogue Dispatcher" shows his cynical, sarcastic, yet witty face...

    Mr. Dispatcher... You know, I keep searching for your blog. With that cynical, sarcastic wit of yours - it's bound to be a winner... (hint, hint).

    Maybe I am just not looking hard enough...

    Gold Leader out.

  5. Holy cow! I hope you're not stuck with the insurance bill!

    CareerMom has a Scort when we first got married. Ran that thing into the ground, then sold it to a young guy heading off to college.

    Kinda felt bad about that, but hey, he had a mechanic look at it, so who am I to disagree!

  6. R.I.P. little scort. You always said you will drive it til it dies. You may not have, but at least it didn't go before it's due date. I wish I would already! HAHAHAHAHA!

  7. Sounds like the boy was channeling my wife behind the Escort wheel.

    The Boss Lady killed two 'Scorts in about 3 years. First a Red wagon that she bought brand new while in college. She drove that one into the side of a hundred year old building when she was pregnant with the Talker.

    The last time we were downtown there was still red paint on the side of the building.

    The second 'Scort, identical except for the black paint on the outside. Died when the clutch pedal SUDDENLY didn't work the same as the brake pedal and she rolled into a pole in a parking but still totaled the car.


Did you reach the Bottom of this blog?

If you have read down to here and are interested in reading more, be sure to click here, click on the "Older Posts" link to your right, or use the "Archive" tool on the right sidebar. Thanks for visiting!