A Missive From Dave ??

Yes friends, it's that time again... Time that I left work and forgot to log off my PC.

What, prey tell, happens when I forget to log off? The mysterious "Hit and Run" emailer leaves his or her "Mark" in my sentbox.

While this mystery person is creative, and has a strong vocabulary, I question his/her sanity. I also worry about possible demonic possession (i.e. Linda Blair). You may have been a recipient of one of this person's prior emails - you may not have. But, rest assured my dear friends, and family - I have not lost "as many" of my marbles as you may have thought when you opened your email box this morning.

For posterity sake, I have included the message that was sent out (on my behalf) for your reading enjoyment.

Oh, be not angry at this "mystery writer" - nay, feel pity for him or her, as I feel he/she may have much deeper, much darker, and much more sinister demons to deal with than even I.

Think not of revenge for this email terrorist. Dream not of using a "Blade" - "oh" no - for it is forgiveness that I feel in my heart, as I urge you to feel... Both, Forgiveness and pity.

David.

(Oh, and by the way... I'd fell more comfortable writing a "manifesto" than I would a "missive" anyway...)

Some of the replies I got back from some recipeiets include...

From Tony M.
"?"

From David G.
"Ahahahahahahahhaha a little delayed but I got this now at work too!! Hmm, did Dave leave his email unattended again?? "
(Note: Obviously David G has received some of these messages in the past!)

From Ed H.
What the hell are you talking about???
Pink eye??? Quit picking your nose and rubbing your eye with your finger.
Any other life problems I can help you out with?
Your Friend, Ed

(Original Message displayed below)
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Dear Friends,

I believe too much time has passed since my last missive, and with that thought, I want to share some of the things that MISSED my blog – The Life of a Father of Five.

Recently, I self-diagnosed conjunctivitis in my right eye and with proper medication prescribed by a licensed physician; I should fully heal within a couple of days. Luckily, it wasn't the feared Blepharoconjunctivitis, Keratoconjunctivitis or Jumpinyourfacetofightus. I would be spared some of the pain and embarrasment, at least for now. Hopefully, I will remember to wash my hands, and if not, well . . . re-infection is not out of the question.

With the recent political climate, the last thing one wants said about them is to be called red or, in this case, pink. "Pink Eye" – sounds like something the dear Republican Senator Joe McCarthy might call you if you were looking to become a communist. Unlike today's claims that there are large numbers of terrorists, anti-government spies and sympathizers working inside federal,state and local government, his public attacks on the character or patriotism of political opponents were cruel and unsubstantiated. I thank God every day, that our great country doesn't condone such behavior and lies.

At first, I thought the irritation to my eye was from the constant rubbing (of my eye) as I am famous for being chronically tired. Then I remembered a quote from Journalist Richard Rovere (1959) about Joe;

" He had always been a heavy drinker, and there were times in those seasons of discontent when he drank more than ever. But he was not always drunk. He went on the wagon (for him this meant beer instead of whiskey) for days and weeks at a time. The difficulty toward the end was that he couldn't hold the stuff. He went to pieces on his second or third drink. And he did not snap back quickly."

Why, that's it! I am older now, and unable to snap back quickly, just like Senator Joseph McCarthy!

For you conspiracy theorists or those of you who actually follow the news - and not that drivel on the Fox Opinion Channel – you will have heard about the 2,750th victim of the 911 attacks - Felicia Dunn-Jones, a civil rights attorney from Staten Island who died five months after 9/11. It also opens the door for the families of others who fell mortally ill after contact with Ground Zero dust to demand they be included on the list of victims and at the memorial.

Now, you say to yourself, what does 911 ground zero, the 2,750th victim and Dave have in common? I can't answer you. I just can't. If I could mention something about building number 7, let's say Larry Silverstein, in New York, actually directed the World Trade Center Number 7 be pulled, meaning brought down by controlled demolition. In February of 2002 Silverstein Properties won $861 million from Industrial Risk Insurers to rebuild on the site of WTC 7. Silverstein Properties' estimated investment in WTC 7 was $386 million. So: This building's collapse resulted in a profit of about $500 million! I mean, if I were to mention something . . . Anyway, dust has always bothered me, especially my eyes.

And by the way, when one flies standby on an unnamed national airline, you DO NOT get bonus frequent flyer miles for having to wait in the airport for SEVERAL days while the FAA and the GOVERNMENT have ALL aircraft GROUNDED (except for certain friends of George H. W. – A.K.A. the Bin Laden family).

So, if one WERE to be exposed to toxic dust several years ago, one MIGHT be in line for some compensation. I'M JUST SAYING . . . !

2 comments:

  1. Ok, I was wondering what the HELL you are talkign about Dave. Thought maybe you have been sitting at an old Grateful Dead concert.

    ReplyDelete
  2. What your little Linda Blair seems to forget is paybacks are a bitch!

    ReplyDelete

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