I Used to Read

When I was young lad (kindergarten through third grade) I was classified as a “strong reader” by my teachers and was clumped with the advanced readers in my class.  It was in the middle of my third grade year that our family moved from Minneapolis to Bloomington and we ended up switching schools.  I am not sure what happened (well, other than moving and switching schools) but the categorization of being a “strong reader” disappeared afterwards.  It’s a theory, but I suspect it may be because this is about the age that reading gets separated from “leisure” to “assigned”.  I often struggle with “assigned” reading.  In a nutshell - If it does not catch my interest, there is little chance I will finish what I have started.

Looking back now, I can see that even as a young child I have always been intrigued with the horror genre.  One of my earliest memories of finding a book I wanted to read was at the point where I was still having books read to me and/or I was just starting to read Dick and Jane books on my own.  I remember seeing a book in the “teenage” section of the public library with an illustration of a human skull surfacing through the cracked mud of a dry river bed.  Every time I went to the library, I tracked that book down and stared at the cover (sometimes multiple times per visit).  I do not remember the title or author of that book and (as an adult) I have tried to search that book out to no avail.  I’d LOVE to find that book and read it – just to satisfy the “five year old” in me!

One of my favorite early reader books (and I still have a copy of it) is The Ghost of Dibble Hollow.  Doing a quick Google search on this title shows me that I was not alone.  There are LOTS of references to that book!  Recently (within the last ten years) I have even re-read that book.    

There was another book I read that I would LOVE to track down.  I do not recall the title or the author.  My parents bought it for me at a department store (J.C. Penny’s or Sears) It was a discount hard cover book with a terrible quality binding, and I believe it had a purple cover.  All I recall is that the book was about a haunted “Ghost Town”…      

In 1979 (at the ripe ol’ age of 10) Steven King’s Salem’s Lot was made into a TV Mini-series.  While I am certain that my parents would have NEVER allowed us to watch it, we had a babysitter both nights it aired, and we watched it.  It scared the bee-jee-bees out of me.  I had to cover my eyes, and peek through cracks in my fingers, and had nightmares for weeks afterwards, but I could not resist.  This was foreshadowing a sign of things to come.

In my early teens our family took a summer vacation road trip.  I grabbed a book to take along with me from the library.  There was nothing more than then name that initially intrigued me.  The book was titled The Dead Zone.  It was the first time I remember being COMPLETELY captivated by a book.  Intrigued by the author’s style, I sought out more.  That’s when I noticed he was also responsible for Salem’s Lot.  I latched on to anything Steven King wrote!  I could not get enough of his work.  

In high school, under the tutelage of my Literature teachers Ms. Hanley and Mrs. Hanson, I was “assigned” a number of literary pieces to read.  (Assigned being the key phrase here.)  Much to their chagrin (and reflective in my Lit grades), I am living proof that “assigned” does not always result in actually having read these works. 

A few highlights – I did complete (most of) and found at least a moderate interest in Julius Caesar, and The Lord of the Flies.  I actually finished (and thoroughly enjoyed) Flowers for Algernon and Frankenstein.  (Flowers for Algernon? Really?  Why?  It is such a complete departure from what I usually enjoy.  I have NO idea what it was about that novel that caught my interest, but it did.  Mrs. Hanson was THRILLED!)       

A few lowlights – I never did read a word of The Catcher in the Rye, Romeo and Juliet, Hamlet, The Scarlet Letter, To Kill a Mockingbird, Death of a Salesman, Twelve Angry Men, The Grapes of Wrath, Ethan Frome, The Glass Menagerie, and a number of other titles that seemed so utterly forgettable that I (embarrassingly) cannot even recall their titles.

As you can plainly see, the list of lowlights is much longer than the list of highlights (and remember, some of the highlights were only partially read).  But worry not dear readers, while I did not partake in the works listed above, I did manage to read The Dead Zone, Carrie, Salem’s Lot, The Shining, The Stand, Pet Cemetery, Cujo, Christine, Firestarter, and a number of other Steven King horror classics!

This highlight / lowlight pattern continued through high school and into my college years.

I was once chastised by a college professor for reading Steven King’s It in her class.  I had the book nestled in the class text book, but I was so engrossed in the book that I did not notice her wandering around the class room (where she noticed me reading it).  It was not until she returned to the front of the classroom and proclaimed (for all to hear) “Mr. Father-of-five, I know I am not as engrossing as Mr. King, but I would appreciate it if you put his work away until after my class”.  

I worked my way through King’s collection of works, and then latched on to a hodgepodge of various other authors and titles.  During and after college, my attention was drawn away from reading and redirected towards my friends, work, and later marriage, fatherhood, homeownership, and so many other responsibilities I cannot begin to count. (Remember folks, I only have twenty fingers and toes in which to count upon.)  This downward spiral in reading continued until my transformation to the busy Father of Five that you see before you was complete.  I don’t like it, but My life has pretty much consumed any time / mental capacity / and energy I once had for reading.  I think (at this point) I am lucky if I average (and I am being generous with myself here) one book / novel a year.     

I hope that is about to change!!  (Stay tuned…)

If you are / were voyeuristic enough to have actually found this post interesting – be sure to check out The Horror in My Life – an older post (from 2007) dedicated to my love of the horror literary genre.

Legacy

Relatively speaking, I reside in “small town” Minnesota. 

Yes, I am still part of the “seven county metro area”, and our town is what I consider to be within the furthest reaches of the “rings of suburbia”, but nevertheless we are a fairly isolated little city with a population slightly over 5000, and surrounded by rural farmland. 

Ever since I was a young boy I have been intrigued by the history of the cities I have lived in.  I own a copy of “Bloomington on the Minnesota” (where I grew up) and I own both volumes of “Jordan, Minnesota:  A Newspaper Looks at a Town” (where we live now). 

On a “historical” note - I attended one of #4 of 5’s basketball games a few days ago.  While seated and waiting for the game to start, a couple of our town’s “ol’ timers” came up behind me and asked if the seats ahead of me were taken.  I turned around and noticed the grandfathers of two of my daughter’s team-mates (and a couple of her closest friends). 

As these men settled into their seats, I was suddenly aware of something I guess I always known, but never put together before.  These two gentleman (sitting here side by side) have some very deep roots in, and have had an amazing influence upon our town.  They are what I would consider pillars of our community, and each are the patriarchs of families that have become synonymous with our little town.   

I could not help but contemplate (and marvel at the thought of) just how much of our town’s history was sitting right in front of me.

It is out of respect for them and for their families that I won’t be posting their names here, but I am confident that if you spend any amount of time here in Jordan you will have some sort of (positive) interaction with something or someone that can be associated with these honorable men. 

I can only hope that one day the legacy of the Father of Five family name will be viewed as favorably as these two and their extended families. 

Not the Why, But the How

When I first started blogging, I stumbled upon a number of similar minded folks doing the same sort of thing (if you haven’t done so yet, be sure to check out my BLOGROLL to see what I am talking about).  Some of those links are to active blogs, some are to less active blogs, and others link to blogs that have not been updated in a LONG time.  Every one of them I connected with at one point on one level or another.  Even when they appear to have fallen off the face of the earth, I have kept their feed in my reader just hoping that one day they would return.

I was delighted to have seen a recent rejuvenation in one of those blogs!  The Adventures of Charlie Blockhead has now posted nearly as many posts since the new year started as he had in all of 2011.  I am excited about his newfound inspiration (and urge any other “dad-bloggers” out there who have never done so to swing by and take a peek).  He’s a real down to earth guy, and I enjoy his viewpoints.

Anyway, Charlie Blockhead’s most recent post got me thinking about my own experiences blogging.  Not thinking so much the part about “stats” (I’m a voyeur at heart, and am not afraid to say how much I love my stats, even the low ones!), and not even so much the “why” I blog (you can follow the link or check out my right sidebar right up at the top for that), but Charlie Blockhead’s post got me reflecting more the “HOW” it all started.

Much like Charlie Blockhead, a part of “fatherhood” scared me.  It was not the first child, or the second, or even the third.  For some reason, it was the fourth, and then the fifth that really threw me for a loop.  I was scared and even a little embarrassed by the growing “number” behind The Life of a Father of ______.  The fear of the costs and financial / emotional commitments got to be a bit overwhelming in my head.

It was after #4 of 5 was born.  Much like Charlie Blockhead, I turned to the internet in search of something anything that would help ease my concerns.  Do you know what I found?  Nothing.  Zilch.  Nada.  (At least not what I was searching for.)  I was even more discouraged – until a thought occurred to me.  If I could not find what I was looking for, why not CREATE what I was looking for.

I battered the idea around in my mind and after a couple of weeks before I started up a Yahoo Group called “Fathers of Large Families”.  I was certain that this group would grow, and become a haven for fellas much like myself.  I set it up with a forum, and a chat room, and place for photos, and videos.  It was going to be the quintessential hang out.  As each day passed with no new members (or obvious bot-members posting adds and links to pornographic garbage) it became apparent that my dreams of moderating a global network of fathers of large families would never come to fruition.  As time went on life got busy and my interest waned.

Then the news of #5 of 5 came along.  History repeating itself.  After the chaos of bringing another new baby into the house settled down, and we found ourselves settling back into a routine again, I turned to the net for help one more time – only this time instead of looking outward to others to provide me with what I wanted,  I turned introspective – and decided that documenting my thoughts / experiences was the way to go.

Within days of opening up shop I started discovering and networking with other “dad-bloggers” out there, and The Life of a Father of Five started down the path of becoming what it is today.

Welcome 2012

Well, here we are, the dawn of yet another new year.

2011 has been quite the ride indeed. It will officially go down in the annals of FOF history as one of the most tumultuous years of my life. Despite its frenzied tempo, a couple of notable setbacks, a painful absence, and my eagerness to see it in my rear view mirror, I refuse to complain. You see, I have so much more to be grateful for than what I have to complain about – and after all things considered, a life of blessings that outweigh the obstacles is truly something to be thankful for.

I know it’s customary to greet the New Year with a few “resolutions” – but I’m not going to make any. Not publicly or privately. Not a one.

Instead, as I bid adieu to 2011, I will welcome 2012 with hope and optimism that we can overcome our tribulations while remaining grateful for all the good things we have in our lives and for the courage to face any new obstacles with dignity.

That is also my wish for all of you.

Merry Christmas! (Better late than never…)

 

From our family to yours!

Back row:  Father of five, #2 of 5, #1 of 5, #3 of 5, Mother of five
Front Row:  #5 of 5, #4 of 5.

A Guest Writer

My sister and I were talking the other day about a little bit of this and about a little bit of that when our conversation led us to a particular topic.  Afterwards, I told my sister that her thoughts would made a great story, and that she should write down as a fond memory for her kids to one day enjoy.  Not surprisingly, she did just that, then sent it to me. 

It is with her kind permission that I am posting her story (complete with her photos) here as a “guest writer”.

Enjoy! 

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Welcome Back Guys…Its Been Way Too Long!
"He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says.”   - Revelation 3:22

PART ONE:  The Mystery Friends

In the last month or so, I have had some regular visits to my house from a couple of old “guy” friends.  We go “way back.”  The three of us used to spend a lot of time together, and it’s been a long-standing friendship spanning a lot of time throughout my life.  These old friends just turned up “on my doorstep” recently, and it was a wonderful, unexpected surprise.   It’s a good thing my husband is a trusting man because they hang around off and on throughout the day most days now, and sometimes even late at night.  My two boys even like them, and don’t mind them hanging around.  They have even been around for mealtime, most especially around suppertime…funny though... they never ask to eat, and I don’t think it’s because of my cooking.

These friends must be a couple of really special people that I feel very comfortable around, because both have seen me in my pajamas…and even without makeup or hair done!  Sometimes, if they visit late in the evening after the kids go to bed, I might even share a glass of wine with one or both of them.  My husband supports, and even promotes, this behavior believe it or not.   (Again…I write for a G-Rated audience…so read on… -wink-)  When my friends come over, I don’t really talk to them much, or even really at all.  It’s not that kind of relationship.  With these two friends, I just listen.  I have a history of being a VERY good listener to my two friends.  After being away from these guys for such a long time, I am really enjoying hearing what they have to say to me.  I find comfort and inspiration by their presence, and we have a lot of fun together.  The old saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" certainly is true about my friends.  Good friends lift each other up, and that’s what they do for me.  That’s how really good friends are over the years.   I hope they keep coming around for a long, long time.   I have really missed these guys.    

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PART TWO:  Let Me Introduce You….  (Drum roll please)

I guess I will stop speaking cryptically at this point…although it’s kind of fun to get my audience thinking and guessing.  The two friends that I speak of are figurative  friends.  They are the piano composers George Winston and Jim Brickman (and  others like them, but these are my most favorite).  Oh, how I love the music of these two composers…or rather, their style of music.

I am a piano player…not a tremendously GREAT piano player…but a piano player none-the-less.  I won’t get into the story of how I began to play, and how I have played on and off over the years…that will be for another post.  But, I will give enough information now to tell this story, and how it relates to my two figurative friends.

I took piano lessons as a child, and loved to play, but it was never easy for me.  Looking back now with the insight of an adult, I think I never really learned the notes well because I have such an unbelievably strong ear.  My greatest strength (by far) in playing is most definitely “by ear.”  I can read music, but it is definitely not a strength of mine.  The word "struggle" would be a better description of my ability to read written music.  I can play most songs I attempt (with enough repetition and listening practice) by ear fairly well.  Without being conscious of what I was doing, I recall repeating songs by hearing them, as young as maybe 8 or 9 years old. 

By the time I was about 14 or 15 years old, I was actively trying to learn to play using only my ears to guide me. Around the same time, whole new world of musical style opened up to me when I started to listen to the music of George Winston.  His style is so soulful and expressive.  It was a new and different style at the time, and it touched something deep inside my musical heart.  The only way I can describe this style is that it is akin to heartbeat… how I hear my own heartbeat.  I so loved this music, and it was available at the time on audio cassette only.  My first “tape” of his was entitled “Winter Into Spring.”  One of my favorites on the album was a song entitled “February Sea.” I so loved the song, however, it was not available in print at the time.  None of his music was.  It was long before the time of internet, and easily attainable music at the click of a mouse.  My only option at the time was to learn by listening. 

With much determination, I set my goal to learn the piece.  After listening to the song probably more than 100 times, both in part and whole, I finally learned the song...or at least my version of it.  I am surprised that I did not wear out the buttons on my “boom box.”  (I am also thankful to my very patient mother who was always so happy to hear me play, even when my music was far from perfect.)  It was amazing both to listen to…and imagine… now to actually PLAY!!!  What was amazing to me is that because of the relative difficulty of the piece, I would NEVER have been able to play it had I had the sheet music in front of me.  It was a strange sensation to be able to play a piece of this complexity without reading any written music.  Another odd thing I noticed was that I would make mistakes if I looked at my hands while I played.  Somehow, the mistakes would stop if I either closed my eyes while I played or looked in another direction away from my fingers on the keyboard.  That is definitely not the case with written music for me!  

After I mastered “February Sea,” I played the song a few times at some special events and “talent shows” at the high school I was attending.  The music teacher always gave me accolades for playing without a single note in front of me.  Most people who can read music well have no concept of playing without the guidance of the written note.  I am in the other “camp.”  I play best using my ears as my guide.  I default to printed notes if I must.  I wish I could read notes more, but I feel it is a weakness I will probably always struggle with.  Over the years, though, I have found great satisfaction in struggling to learn a written piece and finally being able to play it well in that form.  It’s kind of a learned satisfaction that I have come to appreciate over time.  It’s the kind of joy that emerges after a long struggle.

From a friend at the time, I heard about a talent competition at the Minnesota State Fair.  After discussing it with my parents, with their encouragement, I decided to give it a try.  It was kind of scary to think of doing this, but I was determined.  A few weeks after trying out, I foundout that I was accepted into  the competition. 

 

On a clear and beautiful, late summer night, I played my song, “February Sea” in the bandshell at the Minnesota State Fair.  The combination of darkness with the stage lights proved to be an incredible sensation to the young girl that I was.  This was a very new feeling for me… playing in front of an audience of this magnitude!  The bandshell seated up to 5,000 people.  While it wasn’t filled to capacity, I can definitely say that it was mostly full.  I recall my parents sitting very near the front right next to where the piano was located on the stage.  I was so thankful to feel their presence with me! 

When I walked onto the stage, my nervousness subsided (with lots of prayer!) and I played without a single mistake.  I think that is part of what happens when you play by ear.  The music becomes muscle memory, and the mind becomes submissive to the hands.  As I played, I lost the audience.  The music and I were the only ones in company together.  It was an indescribable feeling, one I have never since felt, but one that I will definitely remember for the rest of my life.  

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PART THREE:  Postscript - There’s Always A Lesson In The Story …

There were all kinds of “acts” performing that night.  I wasn’t really concerned about who would “win,” or who would come in what place. 

For me, it was about sharing the music I had worked so hard to learn in such an unconventional way. 

As it turns out, I did make 3rd place in over 25 varying acts.

In the last month or so, I have once again taken up regular practice on the piano.  With our sons out of the very young childhood age, I now feel like I have the time and energy to be able to devote to the piano once again.  While I will likely never be considered a “great” pianist, and will likely never be able to read music well, I am very much enjoying the talent that God intended me to have.  Recognizing the true value of this specific gift has helped me realize something...If I spend too much energy on wishing that I can do something that I likely may never be able to, I waste precious time in developing the talents either I do have, or have not even discovered yet.

As I look back at the joy and the gifts my ear has brought me, I don’t think I would exchange my “ear” for perfect music reading skills if given the choice.  It definitely is not an easy means of learning music, but maybe there is more to it than that.  Maybe God gave me my “ear” to really pay attention to “hear” things in my life, of my family and friends, and those around me.  After all, one has to be a good listener to play by ear!   I hope I can always (as the Revelation verse says) "hear what the Spirit says with my ear."  It’s an interesting thought to ponder…  I now choose to recognize, embrace, and fully claim the gift of “ear” that God gave me.  I see how it has added so much satisfaction and joy to my life.  What I initially thought was a weakness, I see now, has actually always been a strength.  How you look at something sometimes makes all the difference.    

 

 

 

Daytime View of the Bandshell

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Muscle memory definitely is one that stands the test of time.  26 years later, I can still play “February Sea,” (even after not playing it for months, and even years!) and I still have to look away or close my eyes if I make mistakes!

Youtube link to "February Sea"  by George Winston

 

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The piece that I am learning and working on now is called “If You Believe” by Jim Brickman.  Technology sure makes things easier today!  Instead of constantly rewinding my “tape,” I can keep my laptop adjacent to the piano, and play along during the difficult parts!!!  Its really the perfect marriage between ear and written music.  I have officially made it through the first page, and I can’t wait to master the rest… –smile-*

Youtube link to "If You Believe" by Jim Brickman

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Christmas Preparation

Christmas preparation (among numerous other obligations) have really put a damper on the time I have available to update The Life of a Father of Five.  I have a couple of SIGNIFICANTLY overdue posts that I still need to complete, but I want to give them the attention they deserve – So they are on the back burner for a little bit.  (That’s ok.  After all, I just recently posted about not pressuring myself into blogging, and left some feedback for a new dad blogger who was dealing with similar feelings himself.)

One of the Christmas Preparation items I had on my To-Do list was to help the girls’ school set up the stage and risers for their Christmas program.  We started on Sunday, but had to finish up on Monday morning.  After starting bright and early Monday morning, we had to stop for a church service held by Deacon Gary.  I ran home completed a couple of other tasks, returned to St. John’s and we started back up.  Just as I was finishing the last of the connections on the risers, I heard the distinct sounds of a class on their way in to the church to practice for the program. 

I was delightfully surprised to see it was #5 of 5’s class!!  (The surprised look on her face and that little wave of her hand brightened my day like nothing else could have!!)

So I finished up the riser, gathered up my tools, and snapped a couple of pictures (snapped a couple of pictures is code for “got a sneak peek of the class’s contribution to the annual Christmas Program”).

#5 of 5 is in the front row – second from the right side – wearing white tights.  Sorry for the low quality photos, my camera phone is “adequate” at best. 

 

I Had a Plan!

The two previous Thanksgivings, I had a plan.  Two years ago it was not much more than a thought in my head.  I never followed through.  I told myself I would try again “next year”. 

Last year I came even closer to implementing my plan.  I posted a couple of “teases” about it on FB.

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“Trying to decide…  Is this the year???” (link)
(which was followed up with several witty comments by my friends)

“If it's going to be this year, I need to pull the trigger today! ("trigger", not "finger")” (link)
(which was also followed up with several witty comments by my friends)

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I never did announce what the plan was.  (Truthfully, I wanted to document the experience here – and did not want to ruin the surprise) So, I told myself that I would try again “next year”.

So, here we are at “next year”.  I had a couple of precursory reminders of my plan.  First, in the form of a coupon and recipe that came in the newspaper – then in the form of a little “father / daughter time”. 

As a little extra inspiration, I sent another “ambiguous” facebook update..  

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“Ooooo. I got a plan!!!” (link)
(which was followed up with several witty comments by my friends)

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So as I woke for work (at 3am) on Wed. morning, I planned on grabbing my coupon / recipe on my way out the door.  It should be no surprise to many of you when you discover that when I arrived at work I realized that I forgot the coupon and recipe.  I did not care.  I was gong to fulfill the plan regardless.

By the end of the day I had almost forgotten about the plan – that was until a co-worker who I had spoken to about my plan reminded me!  As I left work, I called home to check which of the ingredients we had, and which ones we needed – stopped by and picked up all that we needed from the grocery store, and then – stopped for the main ingredient.

WHITE CASTLE STUFFING!!!

I arrived home with ingredients in hand.  Immediately #5 of 5 recognized the bag – and that brought #4 of 5 out to check what was going on too.  I told them of my plans, and asked if they would join me in my endeavor.     

The girls ate dinner, then we cleaned the kitchen and gathered the necessary ingredients and tools to get the job done!

We washed hands, and started digging in.  First step, cut, rip, tear, chop, slice, or disembowel 10 plain White Castle hamburgers (no ketchup, mustard or pickles).

 

 

   

Be sure to check out the video too! 
(Am I doing this right?  As long as there are no chunks of fingers in there then you are!)

Once the burgers were all cut, ripped, torn, chopped, sliced, and disemboweled – it was time to add the rest of the ingredients.  1 1/2 cup chopped celery, 1 1/4 teaspoon ground thyme, 1 1/2 teaspoon ground sage, 3/4 teaspoon coarse ground black pepper, and 1/4 cup chicken broth.  I had the girls “toss” the cut, ripped, torn, chopped, sliced, and disemboweled burgers while I sifted and poured in the other ingredients.

We spent about 30 minutes in total putting it together.  (I think it could have been done in much less time but we made it a fun little adventure – so it took a little longer.)

I gotta say (although, as a White Castle fan you could say I am biased) but by the time we were done, and it was all assembled – it was really looking (and smelling) quite intriguing!  By “intriguing” I mean good! 

I took only one very tiny “taste” before putting in the refrigerator – It tasted surprising a lot like a traditional stuffing!

Once we were finished, I sent out one last “ambigious” Facebook update…

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“I love it when a "plan" comes together!!!” (link)
(which was followed up with several witty comments by my friends)

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I’ll be sure to report back how it turns out!

If YOU want to try the White Castle Stuffing recipe yourself, I’d urge you to give it a try.  Click HERE!

 

 

Many special thanks to my very talented and quite talented “kitchen staff” for helping make my (three years in the making) “plan” a “reality”. 

You guys (well, gals) are the best!

A Dying Breed?

I’ve noticed more than a couple of posts recently from “dad blogs” that I frequent (on an semi-infrequent basis) that have decided to call it quits. They cite several reasons for the demise (many which I myself have struggled with from time to time, and a few that I have not).

My observations is that there seems to be an informal threshold of somewhere in the four to six year lifespan on blogging. This frightens me a little bit. I am well through my fifth year, and quickly approaching my sixth year – and the quantity (and maybe even quality) of content on FOF is also waning.

I’d be lying if I were to tell you that I have not contemplated the idea a couple of times. I mean, after six years – how much more is there to talk about? When I do have a little moment of inspiration to write about something – the first thing that often pops up in my mind is… “Wait, didn’t you already write about that?” (And frequently, the answer is yes.)

I certainly cannot deny that my involvement, commitment, and interaction with FOF has changed over the years. I have gone from a almost 200 post per year rate down to (so far this year) only 51 posts. Many things contribute to this - my available time, my available energy, my available creativity. Yet, here I am – once again investing a little more of that precious time, energy, and creativity to share my thoughts with someone(?), anyone(?), no one(?) here on “The Life of a Father of Five”.

It also has to be said… Facebook has drastically changed (not only) the blogging community, but truthfully all social media and (I think one could argue) the internet as a whole.

I don’t vilify or regret my involvement with FB. In fact, it is quite the opposite. I have had wonderful experiences connecting with old friends, as well as enhancing new friendships (many which started through blogging) on FB. FB offers a different level of interaction and connection with people that blogging does not offer. Yet, let’s not forget the inverse sentiment. A blog offers something different (more) than FB offers.

I have found myself (like many others have) asking “why”. Why maintain this blog? I have numerous partial (unfinished) posts, numerous planned posts, and even more “missed opportunity” posts occupying space in my brain. It gets a bit overwhelming at times. So far I have been very careful (and to a certain point, succusful) in drawing a line in the sand, and have kept FOF an enjoyable outlet vs just another task to add to my already busy and hectic schedule. Maybe that is what keeps it working for me.

Here is what I know to be true. FOF is MY little slice of the internet. I control the content. I control the interaction. I control the privacy. I control the layout. The Life of a Father of Five is what I WANT IT TO BE, and that is what is important to me. If I choose to post once a day, or once a week, or once a month, or once a year, it does not matter. If I get a thousand hits a day or only one, it does not matter. If anyone actually reads my content or not, it doesn’t matter (goodness knows I am not winning any literary awards for my meaningless drivel) – and I am satisfied with it that way!

Life has a way of changing and so it would go without saying that FOF has and will continue to ebb and flow much in the same way. Even though I may not be present here as often as I may have in the past – I have no intentions of calling it quits. The feelings I have expressed, the experiences I have shared, the things I have learned, the friends I have made are and will continue to be an important part of who I am.

And as far as those that may still be here with me on this journey (and God willing, enjoying the ride), I thank you. Thank you for allowing me to express my feelings, share my experiences, and learn a little bit together. You all have become some of the best friends around – real or virtual. You all are the frosting on the cake of “The Life of a Father of Five”.

My Daughter’s First

She’s seven years old, and as far as I can recall, this was the first time…

Yup!  She has now officially been indoctrinated into the wonderful world of the White Castle!!

After work I had to drive home, pick up #4 of 5 and bring her back to the Mother of Five’s workplace so that they could go do some clothes shopping together.  With the boys home in full-on “Skyrim” mode I had my doubts that they would even know that#5 of 5 was in the house - So, I decided to take her with me, and after dropping #4 of 5 off, I would take #5 of 5 out for some Father/Daughter time!

After dropping #4 of 5 off, I told #5 of 5 I had a surprise for her.  She kept asking me what it was, but I wouldn’t tell her until we pulled into the parking lot.  I think I may have disappointed her just a little bit because I got a moderately un-enthusiastic “oh….” after telling her we were going to have dinner together at White Castle.

She said she had eaten there before, but it was so long ago that she does not remember it…

(Just try and wrap your head around that logic…  Indeed, she is a deep thinker!)

 

I ordered for us, let #5 of 5 pick out our booth, and we filled our sodas while we waited for our sliders.  (She mixed a “suicide soda” (where you mix a little bit of all the sodas from the fountain together in the same cup.))   We returned to the booth, and I explained what was about to come her way!

FOUR (yup, count them… 1, 2, 3, 4) burgers and an order of fries!! 

“Nuh-uh Daddy.  You did not order me four hamburgers.”
“Yup, I sure did sweetie!”
“Nuh-uh”
“Yup”
“Nuh-uh”
“Well, we will just have to wait and see then, won’t we?”

 

Maybe next time she will listen to her ‘ol man, eh?

 

Over the next ten minutes we ate our sliders together.  Then, after ten minutes, I was finished and got to spend the next thirty-five minutes watching her eat (did I mention she is a “putsy” eater) while we visited and were being silly together.  (Did you know that she can “double-fist” her french-fries – THREE in each hand?!?!  Did I mention that I have an AWESOME daughter!!)   After what seemed like an eternity of her uncanny ablity to eat at the speed of molasses, she (finally) announced that she was full.

I finished off what she had not eaten (I’m a good dad like that ya know) and we started packing up…   She then pointed out to me that the boxes could be arranged to form a “Castle” and that that is why they call the place “White Castle”  (again, with the deep thinking).

       

I don’t know if it was the burgers, or the one-on-one company of her daddy, but she sure seemed to have a good time!  I know I sure did!

Madness at Midnight – Skyrim!

Since June of this year #2 of 5 has been eagerly awaiting the release of a new video game.

Skyrim – the fifth game in The Elder Scrolls series… (Think “Dungeons and Dragons”)

He had saved money from his summer job – paid the reservation fee, kept track of the paperwork, and never lost focus (which is very unusual for him) as we slowly crept towards the (symbolic, or just slightly unique) release date of… 11-11-11.

Despite the much hyped “Midnight Release” of the game (that I secretly suspected he wished to partake in), #2 of 5’s “official plan” was to have me pick him up after school, take him to GameStop (where he had his game reservation), and then come home, where he and a friend (who is also an Elder Scrolls fan) would play until they, the television, or the Xbox360 dropped over in exhaustion.  I let him believe that was going to be the plan – that is, up until The Mother of Five was turning in for the night.

We had previously discussed it, and decided that (even though it was a school night and I had to be up early in the morning) I would (as a surprise) take the boys up and experience a “Midnight Video Game Release”.   (To be honest with you, I was a little curious myself.)

I was not disappointed.

I called the store ahead of time and got the “low down” on how this all works…

-  Store closes at 9pm.
-  Store reopens at 10pm.
-  Customers bring in their preorder receipt.
-  Customers pay their balance, and get their receipt stamped “Paid”.
-  Customers get in line waiting for midnight.
-  After midnight, customers present receipt stamped “paid” and receive their shiny new copy of Skyrim.

While not part of the “official” low down, based on my observations, I’d like to add one more bullet point.

- Customer takes their shiny new copy of Skyrim home, and begins an all night caffeine fueled video game bingefest until the collapse from exhaustion.

So, at the end of an already long day we headed out, arriving at the store just before 11pm where #2 of 5 fulfilled all his “pre-midnight” requirements.  There was close to 30 other customers in the store at this time.

 

(Yeah, I do look pretty tired in that pic… Thanks for asking)

By 11:05pm the stream of customers entering the store to fulfill their “pre-midnight” requirements started growing and the line of customers who had their stamped receipt was overtaking the store – so the staff had to move the stamped receipt line outside the store.

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For those of you who are not licensed math teachers….  Let me share a little equation with you…

November (+) Minnesota (x) 1 hour standing outside (=) Cold
(even for a “well insulated” native Minnesotan such as myself)

Thankfully, the neighboring coffee shop has free open WiFi that helped distract me from the cold by allowing me to pass the time on Facebook (As some of you may recall.)

 

 

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#2 of 5 was the twelfth in line – ahead of him was a large group of what appeared to be friends.  Behind him the line stretched out along the strip mall.  I watched from the sideline as the line grew longer and longer by the minute.  There were some common themes among the attendees.  (Prepare for some sarcastic stereotyping ahead - Yet remember that humor often depends upon elements of truthfulness).  The group was…

 

- Predominantly male (while borderline crude, to call it a “sausage fest” would not be an exaggeration) - 16-25 age demographic (Fitting) - “I still live in my parent’s basement” (Need I say more?) - A fair amount of acne. (Too busy gaming to worry about hygiene.) - Goth, emo, skater, or just plain unkempt (hobo like) appearance. - A large representation from extreme ends of the “body frame bell curve” (“emaciated” or “corpulent”) - Black clothing (skinny jeans, trench coats, Converse All-Stars, etc) - Body piercings - Overly caffeinated bravado and machismo. (Not sure why, see first observation) - Extreme braggardly, theatric and exaggerated stories, jokes, and tales told from their tremendous base of knowledge and life experiences.

Yeah, I joke a little there, but they were the typical gamer type…  Nothing to out of the ordinary.  Expected behaviors – a little profanity, bizarre humor (I’m pretty certain I heard more than one Monty Python quote), and lots of “gamer talk”…  Enough to make me quietly smile (and sometimes subtly shake my head in disbelief) as I listened in.  Nothing I would not expect to hear from any group of 16-25 year olds.  Yet, all seemingly pretty decent.

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Although there was one customer there that deviated SIGNIFICANTLY from the standard demographic. 

Gaming Grandma or picking up a copy for her son / grandson. 

You make the call. 

(FYI – Pretty cool of her to be there either way in my opinion!!)

 

 

 

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I do have one tip for the group at the head of the line though…  Take it from a seasoned cigar smoker.  Grape flavored cigarillos not only smell HORRIFIC (and I can only imagine how they would taste), they do NOTHING for your “manliness”…  If you are going to enjoy a cigar, it’s time put your big boy pants on, and smoke a REAL cigar. 

Suggestions include: Romeo y Julieta, H. Upman, Arturo Funte, or La Gloria Cubana. 

(A nice oily Maduro would give you extra manliness points!)  

As we waited and the line grew much longer, one car driving through the parking lot caught my attention.  It was driving with its windows down (slightly unusual for a November night in Minnesota).  I watched it as it slowly drove past the long line of customers.  From where I stood (away from the line) I could hear the passenger yell “Fags” with a volume that I could hear, but those standing in line (talking about all things video game related) did not hear.  I even turned to see if anyone noticed…  Only one person (besides myself) did.  Then from several lanes away, the driver and passenger started yelling much louder (enough to be noticed) – but they were so far away it was intelligible.   So much for the haters.

The time came – Midnight… The witching hour… 11-11-11… SKYRIM!!

  

Staff popped out and started counting off.  They let the first ten in.  As quickly as they went in, they were heading out – game (or in one case a Skyrim themed Xbox system).  #2 of 5 was second or third in line in the next group.  I quickly snapped a photo, and before I could even switch from camera to video mode, he had his game in hand and was already heading (skipping?  You be the judge) out the door – game in hand.

I was a little worried at first… He was so excited that I contemplated putting plastic down over the car seats, just in case he was going to have an “accident” in the seat of the van… (Thankfully, he was able to hold his bladder…)

Once we are safely in the car #2 of 5 turns to me and says “Oh my gosh Dad, did you see all the “freaks” out there?”  I look over to him and simply shake my head.  I don’t think he fully understood the irony in his statement.  After all, wasn’t he (we) just a part of that circus?

I fully accept and embrace my freaky geeky self.  #2 of 5 has not yet come to terms with his…

We made it home where #2 of 3 wanted me to picture text a couple of his friends with a photo of him and his newly obtained treasure (mocking them, I suspect).  After sending said text, I was able to snap one last picture before he headed off to bed - scurrying downstairs with the game curled tightly in his arm like Gollum and  his “precious”.

As I contemplated writing this post, it occurred to me…  Ya know, if Skyrim was came  out when I was 16 – I would have wanted to wait in line too!!

Question for my readers….

How long do you think before I’ll be able to squeak out a few minutes of Xbox time (that is not monopolized by the boys and Skyrim) to play ??   

Winning a Sentry Safe Giveaway!

Product reviews, offers and giveaways are (from my experience) a big part of blogging.  I get frequent requests to accept a free trial of some sort of product in exchange for my review of it.  Most times these offers come with the opportunity to host a contest, and give away a second item as a means of drawing in some additional web traffic, and advertising.  (Ya know, I really ought to take these offers up from time to time!) 

Several of the blogs I frequent host these giveaways.  Normally, I do not enter, but if I happen upon one with a product I have really wanted, needed, or could have use for - I have been known to drop my name in the hat once or twice.

Back in September another Dad Blogger I read (The Dad of Divas) hosted one of these product giveaways. 

It just so happened that he was reviewing and giving away a product that I truly had need for an upgrade, and something I had been frequently considering, but always fell short of actually purchasing.  (As a Father of Five, when isn’t there something that comes up to take away any extra money I may have?)

Dad of Divas hosted the Sentry Safe Big Bolts Hands Down Safety to All Review and Giveaway. 

Sentry Safes had recently developed a new product line they call their “Big Bolt” safes. (Aptly named after the 60% increase in the size of the bolts in the mechanism that locks the safe shut).

A few years back we found ourselves in the position of needed an area where we can securely lock up some of our more valuable items…

FYI – the term “Valuable” is subjective.  We do not own a lot of “expensive” items, but we do have some things that are “valuable” (as in irreplaceable), and a lot of “important” items.

We filled that need with a $9.99 Wal-Mart “fire safe” (seen below).  It is (effectively) a double walled tin box with some fiberglass insulation stuffed between the outside and inside walls. 

  

While the box served a purpose, it certainly had its limitations and “issues”. 

As you can see, the handle had broken - We had somewhere along the line we needed to gain access to the box.  Having misplaced the key, I had used a screwdriver to bust apart the lock tumbler. – eliminating what little security the box provided – And frequently the box was stuffed to the brim, not allowing the (unlockable) lid to close tightly, eliminating what little fire protection the box provided.

As a -----------------------, you would think I would know better, eh?  I could just as easily put all our items in a shoebox and had them just as protected.   

Dad of Diva’s product review was just what we needed!  I took all the steps I needed to do to enter the contest, (at least the ones I had not already done, having already networked with Dad of Divas through the blogging community), and waited.

The day after the contest was over, I did notice a couple of odd hits on my blog – hits that referred back to the Dad of Divas’ Sentry Safe Big Bolts Hands Down Safety to All Review and Giveaway – but there was no winner listed, and no email in my inbox.  I had assumed that someone else had been chosen.

Two days later I received an email from Dad of Divas.  He was congratulating me on being selected, and asked that I get back to him within 48 hours to confirm my win with him!!  (Actually, I had received the email the day before but never got around to checking my email to the next day.)  Worried about having lost almost 24 hours already, I quickly replied to Dad of Divas with my gratitude and excitement!!  He assured me I had reached him in time, and seemed equally excited for me!!

Late last week as I arrived home from work I noticed a HUGE box in my driveway!  I immediately recognized it for what it was.  I struggled to get the box inside the house (it weighs 100 lbs).  I decided to wait until the next day to open it since it had been sitting out in the cold all day. 

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The next morning was like Christmas for me!  I jumped out of bed, and began un-boxing my new safe!  It was BEAUTIFUL!  I started searching through all the paperwork (warrantee, instructions, etc) for the combination – and almost gave up before noticing that I had overlooked it a number of times.

 

 

 

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I ran through the combination once unsuccessfully, and a second time it would not open before my whirring mind reminded me that this was a COMBO safe!  I needed both the key and the combination!  A quick twist of the key and voilà – the safe door opened!

 

 

    

 

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The first thing that struck me as I opened it was the massive feel of the door, and the size of the “big bolts”.   These are indeed some massive sized bolts that lock this safe shut!  

   

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The safe came with a handy adjustable tray, hardware to permanently mount it to the floor, and all the necessary documentations, warrantee paperwork, and instructions.  (Not to mention a box big enough to be metamorphosed into a "toy” by the girls!)  

I had so much fun going through the old “tin box”, organizing the items, and helping them find a spot in their new home!  As you can see from the photo, my new Sentry Big Bolts Safe is so roomy, all the items that were STUFFED into the (overflowing) tin box can hardly be seen!  With everything I previously had in the box (and more) there is room to spare (although I do have more paperwork and photos I want to store).  This thing has TONS of room in it!!  I am thinking when I am all said and done, that I may even have extra safe space to “rent” out!! 

  

I am more than pleased with the quality of this safe!  If you are shopping for a safe and have any concerns, let me assure you that Sentry has done an amazing job of putting together something that not only looks beautiful, but is so roomy and functional as well! 

One point…  I have not tested one aspect of the functionality of this safe.  Even though Sentry has done extensive testing, and that I have no doubt that it will live up to it’s expectations -  Let’s hope that I never have to test or review the “fireproofness” of the safe! 

As a well known world class “worrier”, it will feel so good knowing that once I have all the items I want protected safely tucked away in the safe!  It will be one less thing adding to the “noise” in my already overactive head.  (But what if… But what if… But what if…)

I want to personally thank Dad of Divas for hosting the Sentry Safe Big Bolts Hands Down Safety to All Review and Giveaway – and thank Sentry Safes for the generous (and much needed) upgrade!      

“Family” (quotation marks intended)

As I grow older I am discovering something about myself.  I do not know if it is unique to me, or to my circumstances, but I did noticed a recent indication that this is something that it may not be so unique just to me.  

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I attended a relatively small Catholic Elementary / Junior High school from Kindergarten through eighth grade.  Nativity of Mary in Bloomington, Minnesota (although I switched from St. Kevin’s to Nativity in 3^rd grade). After 8^thgrade, I attended the Academy of the Holy Angles in Richfield, Minnesota (a Catholic High School also considered small compared to the public school alternatives) along with a large number of the kids I grew up at Nativity with.

As with most kids, we all had our “groups” that we spent most of our time with, and groups we did not socialize with as much.  As we progressed on to  high school some of us went in different directions (attending different High Schools), but those that continued on together adjusted, expanded, and morphed our relationships with each other.

I fell into what I would consider the “leftover group”.  We did not fall into any of the typical categories (athletic, artistic, popular, etc) and so by default we bonded into our own makeshift “hobo-group”.  I found that even through High School these groups did not intermingle much but overall we got along pretty well.

As the saying goes…  Time and tide wait for no man.  We all graduated, and moved on – college, careers, family, jail, whatever.  Friendships and relationships again adjusted, expanded (or shrank), and morphed into something different.

Career and family followed college for me.  I am now a fully vested family man (ahem… “Father of Five”).  My time is spent working, and maintaining my home and family.  Somewhere around ten years ago or so I came to the realization that that through this life as a father of five, I had lost contact with all but a few of the friends I have made through the years.  Admittedly, it was a little depressing to ponder, but it was my life.  I have since learned to accept it, and adjust.  Friendships are a luxury at this point – a luxury that comes at the cost of career or family.

Then along came Facebook.  Suddenly, I started noticing old friends and classmates that I had not spoken to for years – some even decades – popping up here and there.  Facebook has made searching and finding old friends easy, and made connecting with those old friends even easier!  Sure, there are those folks that I did not have a lot of interaction with, and that I still don’t – but it’s still nice getting a little snapshot of what life is like outside the walls of my work and family, and with old friends I would not normally hear from.

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Very recently, one of those friends (from both Nativity and Holy Angels) experienced a tragedy.  She unexpectedly lost a parent.  This friend is one of the classmates that I was a little more closer with, and have kept in touch with from time to time throughout the years.  Besides our shared scholarly tenure, we have an extended connection through church and my work  (her family had a significant involvement in the Bloomington Volunteer Rescue Squad, along with having taught several police officers, firefighters and EMTs.)

This classmate shared her loss on Facebook.  As I read through the sympathetic comments left for her, I noticed a large number of classmates from both Nativity and Holy Angels.  It was there that I stumbled upon one comment in particular that truly caught my attention.

“…I feel like all my Nativity friends are more like close cousins.  Therefore, I’m sure your collective family feels this and sends you a virtual hug…”                                                                                 -Mike Burns

That was it!  Wise words indeed Mike!

There have been many people in my life.  Yet, as I travel backwards, I see that “pool” get smaller and smaller.  From the thousands of industry, peer, and co-workers I deal with now, to the anonymity of College, to my high school class of less than 150, down to the roughly 50 kids I went to elementary and junior high with.  Many whom I still have contact with.

I don’t know how many other (or if any) of my classmates from Nativity feel the same way, but from my perspective - good, bad, or otherwise, this small group of people were such a big part of so many of my formative developmental years and we shared so many experiences that even now (28 years later) that whenever I have contact with one of my old classmates, I DO feel a different sort of connection and bond with them.  It DOES feel almost like a small family.

If you are one of my old Nativity classmates, I’d like to wrap this up with a special message for each and every one of you.  Whether you were one of my closest friends, part of the other groups I had less contact with, or somewhere in between - I look back at my time with you and at Nativity with great fondness.  Sure, growing up is not without its ups and downs, but what life experience isn’t?  

So… I am sending out my most sincere “thank you” to each and every one of you for being part of that family.