Not the Why, But the How

When I first started blogging, I stumbled upon a number of similar minded folks doing the same sort of thing (if you haven’t done so yet, be sure to check out my BLOGROLL to see what I am talking about).  Some of those links are to active blogs, some are to less active blogs, and others link to blogs that have not been updated in a LONG time.  Every one of them I connected with at one point on one level or another.  Even when they appear to have fallen off the face of the earth, I have kept their feed in my reader just hoping that one day they would return.

I was delighted to have seen a recent rejuvenation in one of those blogs!  The Adventures of Charlie Blockhead has now posted nearly as many posts since the new year started as he had in all of 2011.  I am excited about his newfound inspiration (and urge any other “dad-bloggers” out there who have never done so to swing by and take a peek).  He’s a real down to earth guy, and I enjoy his viewpoints.

Anyway, Charlie Blockhead’s most recent post got me thinking about my own experiences blogging.  Not thinking so much the part about “stats” (I’m a voyeur at heart, and am not afraid to say how much I love my stats, even the low ones!), and not even so much the “why” I blog (you can follow the link or check out my right sidebar right up at the top for that), but Charlie Blockhead’s post got me reflecting more the “HOW” it all started.

Much like Charlie Blockhead, a part of “fatherhood” scared me.  It was not the first child, or the second, or even the third.  For some reason, it was the fourth, and then the fifth that really threw me for a loop.  I was scared and even a little embarrassed by the growing “number” behind The Life of a Father of ______.  The fear of the costs and financial / emotional commitments got to be a bit overwhelming in my head.

It was after #4 of 5 was born.  Much like Charlie Blockhead, I turned to the internet in search of something anything that would help ease my concerns.  Do you know what I found?  Nothing.  Zilch.  Nada.  (At least not what I was searching for.)  I was even more discouraged – until a thought occurred to me.  If I could not find what I was looking for, why not CREATE what I was looking for.

I battered the idea around in my mind and after a couple of weeks before I started up a Yahoo Group called “Fathers of Large Families”.  I was certain that this group would grow, and become a haven for fellas much like myself.  I set it up with a forum, and a chat room, and place for photos, and videos.  It was going to be the quintessential hang out.  As each day passed with no new members (or obvious bot-members posting adds and links to pornographic garbage) it became apparent that my dreams of moderating a global network of fathers of large families would never come to fruition.  As time went on life got busy and my interest waned.

Then the news of #5 of 5 came along.  History repeating itself.  After the chaos of bringing another new baby into the house settled down, and we found ourselves settling back into a routine again, I turned to the net for help one more time – only this time instead of looking outward to others to provide me with what I wanted,  I turned introspective – and decided that documenting my thoughts / experiences was the way to go.

Within days of opening up shop I started discovering and networking with other “dad-bloggers” out there, and The Life of a Father of Five started down the path of becoming what it is today.


  1. Thanks for the nod! I heard a comic say that having 3 children is easy because you learn to play zone deffense. Once the 4th one comes though it's like swimming alone in the ocean and suddenly someone hands you a baby.

  2. As a mom, for me #3 was the challenge. The pregnancy seemed harder - with two toddlers, I couldn't just rest when I was tired. Adding to the fun, one was a lark and the other an owl. When #3 was born I was outnumbered, more children than hands. After 3 it didn't get harder because the older ones slowly became less demanding and more helpful, but it took a good while for it to get easier.

    I didn't have the financial burden you (GOOD) Dads face. That's part of the "contract.' Most of my raising children I had a husband bringing home (most of) a paycheck. I had to be careful and live modestly, but we had what we needed.

    I applaud you men who work hard to support your families and spend real time with them working and playing together, who love them and express that love. You are everyday heroes.

  3. I think it's awesome that you actually tried to start an online group for fathers with large families. I'm glad it didn't work out though, cause then The Life of a Father of Five may have never been created.


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