Is This REALLY Necessary?

As mentioned in my prior post, I spent Wednesday morning (my day off) dispatching a specific "Incident".  There was a gathering of Civil Disobedient protesters, and as a specialized SWAT dispatcher I was selected to man our Command Post to provide communications for the "event". 

Due to this "assignment", I was unable to chaperone a field trip to the Minnesota Zoo with #5 of 5's  preschool class that I had previously signed up for.

The Incident Commanders were all very understanding, and did everything they could (and then some) to get me there - but in the end, it was cutting it too close.

This worked out ok in the end because I have been dealing with a persistent, and ever worsening cough for the past month.  I called the clinic, and set up an appointment.  Unfortunately they did not have a spot open until the next day.

By the time I got home, I was coughing enough that it was not only bothering everyone around me, but it was starting to bother ME.  The Mother of Five said our urgent care center opened at 1pm, so I headed out.

Our urgent care center and E.R. share a lobby / waiting / triage center.  You check in, wait, meet with a triage nurse who routes you through to urgent care or E.R. depending on the circumstances.

(Is this REALLY necessary point #1) - I went through the entire process, and the triage nurse checked me into the E.R.   I asked her why the ER and not the urgent care center.  It ends up that my wife was wrong.  Urgent care does not open until 6pm.

I asked the nurse if visiting the ER was "overkill" for what I was dealing with.  I told her I did not want to waste ER resources for something that really did not need to take up ER time...  She said not to worry about it at all - they could take care of everything while I was there.  I verified this no less that two other times before I was sitting in the ER exam room, and was assured each time that it was indeed ok.

(Is this REALLY necessary point #2) - I next met with an ER nurse who gave me a LOVLEY "open backed" gown...  Thankfully (for both me and for the ER staff) I was told I only needed to undress from the waist up before putting on this gown.

Then the ER doctor came in - poked, prodded, checked, and listened to all sorts of things "above the waist"...  This all seemed on the up-and-up.  When it was all said and done, he ordered a chest x-ray, and said someone would get me shortly.

(Is this REALLY necessary point #3 - and truly what inspired me to write) - A young petite little blond nurse came into my room, and told me that she was here to take me to X-ray.  I had been sitting in the chair and playing Solitaire on my palm pilot up until this point...  I stood up and walked toward her, when she said I needed to lay on the gurney...

Me - HUH??  I have not even touched it.  Why not keep it clean for the next person...

Nurse - Nope.. Hospital policy that I need to move you on the gurney.

Me - Your kidding me, right?  I mean I am a strong - able-bodied - fully mobile adult.  I have been able to walk down the hall all-by-my-self for sometime now..  Plus, as you can see, I could use the exercise anyway.

Nurse - Sorry Mr. Father-of-five.  We need to get you up on this gurney, and roll you down to X-ray.  It's policy, and we do this for everyone.

Me - What if I sign a waver?

Nurse - Just get on the gurney....

By this point I could see I was not going to leave the room under my own power, so I hopped up on the gurney, and let this young petite little blond nurse push me down to the X-Ray room.

I can only imagine how it must have looked.  A scene straight out of Sea World's back room laboratory.  A Marine Biologist college intern trying to push a small pale bloated Beluga Whale down the hall toward the "Deep Sea Vet's Lab" all by her self - struggling...

In the end, she did just fine.  Maybe she was right... She does this for everyone...

And while I am in the "tall and fat" "big and tall" category, there are certainly much more "bigger" and "taller" than me out there. 

- - - - - - - -

For all those wondering.... It was confirmed as I suspected - Bronchitis.


  1. Oh, Thank goodness, Dave! I told you it would be okay, and besides most STD's don't give you a hacking constantly-coughing-I-can't-stop-till-I'm-out-of-air cough! If they gave you an antibiotic in the 'cillin family, take all of it, just in case.

  2. I hope you feel better soon.
    Hospital policies rarely account for common sense.

  3. I hate hospitals. Your story made me laugh so hard. I'm glad it's nothing worse, and I hope you won't be getting a hefty bill, which could cause a relapse!

  4. We must have been born under the same sign or something, because I also have bronchitis right now! Weird.

    I was taken care of via a regular clinic visit, however.


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