Adult Principles

I had, in the back of my head, an idea for a project I wished to undertake. 

The idea was to compile a list of traits that I (personally) felt were important to…

…Being a man (and a productive member of society at large)
…Being a husband (one that is loving, caring, and mindful of the needs of his wife)
…Being a father / grandfather (loving, nurturing, cognizant of the needs while instilling
                                            a sense of morals and values for his children / grandchildren)

I had a couple of key “components” already listed down on paper that I had been adding to / overhauling as ideas came to mind.  My list included such items as Dignity, Understanding, Patience, Forgiveness, Honesty, and Faith.  These are the traits that I have found myself trying to live by, and traits I would want to pass down to my children and grandchildren. 

Then, just recently, I stumbled upon the work of someone I had never heard of before. John Perry Barlow.

According to Wikipedia (link provided above) John Perry Barlow is “an American poet and essayist, a retired Wyoming cattle rancher, and a cyberlibertarian political activist who has been associated with both the Democratic and Republican parties. He is also a former lyricist for the Grateful Dead and a founding member of the Electronic Frontier Foundation. Since May 1998, he has been a Fellow at Harvard University's Berkman Center for Internet and Society.”

While none of those notable accomplishments listed have any significant meaning or interest to me, or my life specifically, I was quite taken with something he wrote over thirty years ago.  Something I only just recently read myself.

As I understand it, Mr. Barlow - on the eve of his 30th birthday (Oct. 1977) - assembled a list of twenty-five “behavioral goals” that he hoped would help aid him in acquiring an adult sense of responsibility.  What he created that night came to be known as his “Principals of Adult Behavior”.

Despite their “age”, I found that his ideals on what constitutes “Adult Principals” so closely mirrors the ideals I myself was trying to establish, that I felt compelled to share. 

Adult Principle #1: Be patient. No matter what.
Adult Principle #2: Don’t badmouth: Assign responsibility, not blame. Say nothing of another you wouldn’t say to him.
Adult Principle #3: Never assume the motives of others are, to them, less noble than yours are to you.
Adult Principle #4: Expand your sense of the possible.
Adult Principle #5: Don’t trouble yourself with matters you truly cannot change.
Adult Principle #6: Don’t ask more of others than you can deliver yourself.
Adult Principle #7: Tolerate ambiguity.
Adult Principle #8: Laugh at yourself frequently.
Adult Principle #9: Concern yourself with what is right rather than who is right.
Adult Principle #10: Try not to forget that, no matter how certain, you might be wrong.
Adult principle #11: Give up blood sports.
Adult principle #12: Remember that your life belongs to others as well. Do not endanger it frivolously, and never
                             endanger the life of another.
Adult principle #13: Never lie to anyone for any reason.
Adult principle #14: Learn the needs of those around you and respect them.
Adult principle #15: Avoid the pursuit of happiness. Seek to define your mission and pursue that.
Adult principle #16: Reduce your use of the first personal pronoun.
Adult principle #17: Praise at least as often as you disparage.
Adult principle #18: Never let your errors pass without admission.
Adult principle #19: Become less suspicious of joy.
Adult principle #20: Understand humility.
Adult principle #21: Forgive.
Adult principle #22: Foster dignity.
Adult principle #23: Live memorably.
Adult principle #24: Love yourself.
Adult principle #25: Endure.

Mr. Barlow then went on to say (about his list)… “I don’t expect the perfect attainment of these principles.  However, I post them as a standard for my conduct as an adult”.

Like Mr. Barlow – I too do not expect to achieve perfection – but I too will post this list publicly as a standard for MY conduct as an adult.

Practicing a Little “Space Management”

To coin a phrase used by local talk radio genius Joe Soucheray in his radio show “Garage Logic” – Today I practiced a little bit (ok, a lot) of “space management”. 

For those of you who are not familiar with “Garage Logic” and it’s lexicons - “Space management” is the practice of not losing any space on the driveway to a snow bank. This generally includes snow blowing to the edges of the driveway and following up by sculpting with a shovel, as well as flaring the snow bank where the driveway meets the street to give you an easier turn out of the driveway. Good space management requires both spatial planning and execution.

Since the beginning of the year – my time has been even more a premium than it usually is.  So much so that throughout this time frame and despite several “smaller” snowfalls (between a “dusting” and two inches) instead of shoveling it or snow blowing it (blower is still on the fritz)  - I simply drove over in and packed it down on the driveway.

I do not mind winter in Minnesota, in fact, you could say I love it!  (I love each of the seasons).  Yet one of my winter time pet peeves is a driveway packed with, covered in, and encroached upon with snow.  I love having a clean and clear driveway. 

Today (my last day off before starting back to work) – I spent my day SLOWLY chiseling, chipping, carving and scraping my driveway back to it’s blacktop surface – all the way out (side to side) back to it’s edges. 

With out the snow blower – it was a lot of lifting and throwing.  I would chisel large “sheets” of Titanic sinking icebergs from the surface of the driveway (large sheets of ice and compacted snow that often were three or more inches thick) and either bend over to pick them up one by hand, or attempt to capture on on my shovel..  

I cleared the surface, opened the “apron” (where the driveway meets the street) and even cleaned up the edges.  Without the show blower to “throw” it way out into the yard, the snow really started piling up along the driveway.  Many places the snow banks are well over four feet tall.

       

Blowing and Drifting

We here in the great state of Minnesota were the lucky recipients of several significant snow storms throughout the month of December.  In fact, December 2010 will go down in the record books as being the snowiest December in 41 years.  The new record of 33.4 inches of snow, broke the previous record set 41 years before in December of 1969 when we had a recorded 33.2 inches of snow.

Having that much snow around poses several unique issues, including removal and drifting.

   

The snow had drifted so “eerily deep” along one of the rural roads between our town and the next town that if a vehicle had broken down and pulled over to the shoulder, it would have been engulfed, and (potentially) entombed in one of these drifts. 

I told myself I HAD to return to get a photo. 

On Christmas Day, on my way (over the river and through the woods) to my in-law’s house I knew I was going to be passing through this same area again.  Armed with our camera (intended for the typical Christmas photos) I took the opportunity to pull over, and take these shots.

I Have Struck it Rich!

The couch that we have in our basement is what I would call “utilitarian quality” – as in, it was built to look nice on a show room floor and for the first couple of months in your house, but the focus in it’s construction was more about  “price point” and aesthetic quality, and less about craftsmanship and durability.

Our basement couch has, over the years, become a “catch all” for all sorts of things.  The lower “build” quality equates to gaps in the framework that objects can slip through (gaps that higher end furniture do not have).  I knew many objects had fallen thorough the gaps in our couch, but it was not until a couple of weeks ago when I went on a cleaning rampage that I discovered just how much had passed through that void to oblivion.

It was during this cleaning rampage that I decided to move our couch and love seat from it’s spot to “detail” clean underneath it.  When I rolled the couch forward, I heard the sounds of “stuff” rolling around inside the couch.  Since I already had the couch upside down, I decided it was high time that I remove the dust cover (the black fabric covering the underside of the couch) and reclaim that what was once mine.  I was nearly shocked by what I found.

In addition to the crayons, pencils, pens, remote control, candy wrappers, unwrapped candy, partially eaten candy, hair barrettes, scrunchies, legos, and other miscellaneous toys – I found money! 

LOTS OF IT!!

By the time I was done cleaning and vacuuming all the nooks and crannies of the underside of our couch – I walked away with a small fortune!  (At least what could be considered a small fortune for a father of five such as myself!)

  

Twelve quarters, nine dimes, five nickels, and eleven pennies

In all, the grand total I walked away with was $4.26.  Yup, just short of a cool five bucks!

The only thing left to do is to decide how to spend my new windfall!

Introducing….

I am very pleased to introduce to the world, the newest addition to the cast of characters in “The Life of a Father of Five”

Tobias James6lbs 8oz
21 inches
Born 6:55pm

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First and foremost, I am happy to report that “C” (the new mother) is doing well! 
I am also very happy to report that the “cute as a button” baby is doing very well!
Finally, I am happy to report that #1 of 5 (the new father) is doing well. 
Although everyone is doing well, continued thoughts and prayers for this new little family would be greatly appreciated!

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I was at work when the excitement all started taking place.  I was being given updates over the telephone as they happened.
By 9pm we had enough staff on that I could burn a couple of hours of my vacation time to drive out to the hospital and see how everyone was doing. 
The Mother of Five was already there visiting with “C”.  I arrived and heard the whole story from start to finish. 
Prior to leaving #1 of 5 took me into the nursery to see the baby while the Mother of Five stayed with “C”. 

Since “C” was required to stay in her room, the baby was still required to stay in the nursery, and the Mother of Five wanted to stay with “C”, I (unfortunately) did not get any photos of baby with mom, baby with grandparents (except myself), or baby with great grandparents.  I promise to get some tomorrow, as it turns out there are some new uncles and aunts that are pretty excited to meet their new nephew!
Since it was only us, it turned out to be a nice little little Grandfather / Father / Son moment…

The Weather Outside is Frightful

I chose to avoid the overused terms “Snowmageddon” or “Tsnownami” – but what we have going on here today is frightful indeed! 

We are in the midst of the biggest snow storm yet this year – we are told to expect anywhere from 16-19 inches of snow (depending on where you are at).  We are also getting sustained winds 15-20 with gusts up to 35 mph – and to top it all off, temps are dropping (quickly) and we are being advised to expect wind-chills in the 20 – 35 below zero range.

When you live in a rural area, the roads between towns are the most dangerous means of getting around (even though they can be the ONLY means to get around).  If the road does get plowed, it will “disappear” under blowing and drifting snow again in a matter of minutes.  It’s easy to get get stranded or trapped in your vehicle in weather like this.  Given the current weather conditions and expected drop in temps, choosing to drive is choosing to take your life in your own hands.

This is quite the weather event!  But, it’s Minnesota – and anyone who has lived here long enough (or, their whole lives – like me) come to expect these types of “events”.  What makes this one unique is that #2 of 5, #3 of 5 and I committed to work the Salvation Army’s Red Bucket this morning at Radermacher’s Grocery Store.

Unfortunately, #2 of 5 was home sick yesterday, and was not feeling any better today.  Given the weather outside today, and our morning plans, I excused #2 of 5 from his bell ringing duties.

Our shift started at 9am.  I took this video out our front window just prior to leaving.   

 

We arrived, met with the store manager, got our bells and aprons, (literally) dug the stand and bucket out of a snowdrift, and set up.  It was cold, but not “frigid” outside (the temps had not yet dropped down).  Since we were on the first shift of the day, we watched the lot get plowed (for the second time today – according to the manager). 

It seemed as if 1 out of every 10 vehicles that we noticed had a snow plow blade attached to it.

As the morning progressed a few folks started braving the weather and showing up to stock up for being snowed in over the next few days.  As we have noticed in the past, the generosity of folks simply amazed me!  Perhaps they felt sorry for #3 of 5 and I for having to stand out in the blizzard?    

   

 

We stuck around long enough to finish up our shift, and (unfortunately, our relief never showed up (very likely due to weather)) so we worked half of the next shift.  By the time the weather started getting to us, you could not even tell the lot had been plowed (twice already).  We decided that we had done our part (and then some) so we called it quits.  We turned in our aprons and bells, picked up the few things that the Mother of Five asked us to pick up from the Grocery Store (since getting in and out would be pretty much out of the question in a few short hours), stopped for a hot chocolate and headed home.

One of the things I like about living in a small / rural town is seeing things that others may find quite odd.  Things like snowmobiles driving along side of you, and folks gassing up those snowmobiles – not on trailers mind you, no, they drive up to the gas pumps ON their snowmobiles and gas ‘em up right there at the pumps! 

By the time we finished our shift, got our hot chocolates, and started driving home – the snow was really starting to accumulate.  The main road (County Road 9) had been plowed, but 190th had not yet – and the drifts along that stretch of the road batted my little car around like a toy.

I nearly slid past the entrance to our development, and I really struggled to keep my car moving (with forward momentum) through the deep snow that covered our (unplowed) street.  I slowed slightly as we approached our driveway – wanting to get the garage door open so I could keep the momentum going up the driveway and into the garage. 

The door opened, and I “punched it” as I turned into the driveway.

I made it on to the driveway, but that is about it.  Thankfully, my car was completely off the roadway, but far enough down the bottom of the driveway that if the snow plow had come by My car would be half buried in the mound left behind.

I spent the next hour plowing the driveway around my car, then digging the car out. 

 

Once I successfully freed my car from the snow bank, I tucked my car back into the garage.

 

With the car safely back in the garage, I finished blowing out the rest of the driveway, and some of our front sidewalk.

 

Afterwards, I headed in to warm up, dry off, and spend some time with my family.  (Watching It’s a Wonderful Life).  But before heading down, something caught my eye. 

   

Yup!  That is snow, drifted up to the height of our kitchen table!!  So, that’s it.  I’m calling it quits!  Time to write up a quick blog post, and enjoy the rest of the day “snowed in” with my family!  I LOVE Minnesota!!

Big Changes in Small Town Minnesota

What constitutes big news in small town Minnesota??

Well, if you live where I do (besides all the local small town political bickering that goes on) it’s big news when something new (something with a highly visible physical profile) starts changing the landscape of the places we frequent here in town. 

 

We are a “two gas station town”.  There is Yocum’s Holiday which is right off the interstate and Broadway Market which is located “deep” in town (By “deep in town” what I really mean to say is “eight-tenth’s of a mile”.)

(A) is Yocum’s and (B) is Broadway.  Broadway seems to have established itself as the “teen hang out central” for the kids in town (including my own #2 of 5 and #3 of 5 – who enjoy biking to Broadway with a couple of bucks for a pop and a treat and to see who else is “hanging out”.)

 

Throughout the summer, I heard rumblings of a possible new gas station in town.  It seemed odd to me as we are already doing pretty well with the two, but any new business in town (especially in this economy) is a good thing! 

Somewhere along late September, I was driving through town, and out of the corner of my eye I noticed big changes in the parking lot of Radermacher’s Fresh Market, and Jordan Ace Hardware (our local grocery store / hardware store that share a parking lot).

   

I saw what I can only describe as either two giant alien pods, or two giant cryogenic hypobaric chambers - one slightly smaller than the other. 

Once the realization that a well publicized (well, tabloid publicized) infamous user of cryogenic hypobaric sleep chambers, along with his faithful sidekick “Bubbles”  (hence the slightly smaller cryogenic hypobaric chamber) were not going to be making a overnight stop here in our town – I recalled the earlier talk of new gas pumps being installed.

Intrigued, I decided I was going to document the progress of this new “attraction” in town… From two cryogenic hypobaric chambers dumped in the parking lot, all the way to functioning gas station.

Over the next few days, the only noticeable progress was the removal of the top layer of asphalt from the parking lot, a series of plumbing fittings assembled around the perimeter of the hole, and a sump pump sucking rain water that has (and would continue to) accumulate in the hole.

           

After what seemed like an unusually lengthy wait for something… ANYTHING… to happen, one morning (out of the blue) a backhoe showed up and was digging.

 

The backhoe spent several days doing what it does best – and then as quickly as it came, it was gone…  Along with the missing backhoes, the cryogenic hypobaric chambers were also absent (at least as seen from the road).  Upon closer inspection, the cryogenic hypobaric chambers were no longer “chambers”, but entombed cryogenic hypobaric sarcophagi – buried nearly a dozen feet into the ground, carefully nestled into their tomb with what appeared to be specialized fill all around them.

 

Not long after the cryogenic hypobaric sarcophagi were forever entombed in their resting place, the first “familiar” signs of the impending gas pumps started showing up.

Once the pumps started showing up, and really getting my curiosity piqued, the project seemed to stall out again (at least for a bit).  I suspect the “powers that be” had some plumbing connections, and pressure / leak testing to finish up before finally putting a final layer of fill over the top – forever hiding the cryogenic hypobaric sarcophagi from the world (and finally allowing me to stop writing (and your having to read) the words “cryogenic hypobaric sarcophagi” over and over again).

Finally, the day came.  The hole was filled, and several small blue “portholes” showed up where (I suspected) the pumps would later be installed.

 

Here is where I (as a reporter of all things interesting in town, and the author of this photo archive) failed you.  See, “Life as a Father of Five” has a few drawbacks… Time limitations among the top of the list…  Between the time the “blue portholes” showed up and the final photos I have at the bottom of this post, I had not taken any further pictures of the progress…  

A little disappointed?  Yes.  Yes I am.

But like I said, having seen the pumps standing, installed “at the ready” – but without any activity around them, I was curious to what was next. 

One day in early November I had to run into the Hardware Store (it was with my dad while installing our new front door).  It was there in the lot that I ran into the Store Manager.  I asked him when the pumps were going “live”.  I was quite surprised to hear that the tanks were filled, the pumps were turned on, and there was nothing really preventing me from using the pumps (except the presence of a couple of State Regulators – who just happened to be putting their final blessings on the pumps as we stood there jawjacking….)  The manager advised me that the pumps should be up and running and the store was holding a “grand opening” that very evening!

Since I was busy (with the door) and did not need any gasoline, I missed the “Grand Opening” event – but two days later found myself driving by (while dropping a friend of #4 of 5’s back off at home after a sleep-over the night before) and realized I was out of fuel.

 

With the two girls in tow, I pulled into “Radermacher’s Fuel Express” and pumped my first tank of gas from the beautiful, shiny new pumps!  In the darkness of night, with all the fresh new lighting on in the pump area, I’d almost call the scene “beautiful”!

(No, that’s not a tear you see welling up… I have something in my eye, now leave me alone about it!)

Just to give you a timeline for this post - the first photos (of the cryogenic hypobaric chambers – oops, I said it again) were taken on 09-28-2010, and these final photos were taken 11-06-2010.

Ahhh…  Nothing like big news in small town Minnesota, huh?

Happy Thanksgiving - 2010

This year Thanksgiving’s scheduled events were to occur at my parents house.  Mom really enjoys cooking, and serving up wonderful dinners (and truth be told I suspect she enjoys watching other enjoy her creations even more than she enjoys creating them)!

With the whole family off (including school) on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, we decided to make it a “family day” – and take the opportunity to go see a movie.  The boys wanted to see “Harry Potter”, while the girls wanted to see “Tangled”.  Checking the theater times, we noticed that both movies had a start time within 10 minutes of each other – so we let the boys go see their movie, while the Mother of Five and I took the girls to see “Tangled”.

, The weather was a typical late November in Minnesota type of cold (cold, and dry) when we first arrived at the mall.  The weatherman had warned us about an impending storm, but it had yet made it’s presence known. 

Once the movies had finished and we had exited the theater back into the mall, the first thing I noticed while passing a window was the “significant” loss of visibility due to the falling snow.  The second thing I noticed was the “significant” accumulation of the falling snow upon the ground. 

Not good.  I had plans… 

For a couple of days ahead of time, I had posted “vague” status updates on Facebook – lamenting whether or not “this would be the year”…  People started wondering and asking – some with very funny guesses, but in the end, what it was all about was my desire to try and make “White Castle Turkey Stuffing”.  The plan was to show up at my parents house with a “surprise dish”!

With the weather outside getting “frightful” – it was time to load up the family and head home (hitting the White Castle we pass on the way home)…  That was, until mom called me. 

As it turns out, she was sick.

She was feeling so lousy that she was calling us, and asking us if we would mind taking on the task of having Thanksgiving dinner at our house instead of coming over to her house…

For those of you who know my mom, this is “significant”. 
Mom would not do this unless she was REALLY feeling badly.

She already had a turkey thawed, stuffing made, and a few other fixin’s ready to go – so she asked if we would brave the weather to pick up what she had prepared. 

We arrived safely.  Mom was indeed not feeling well, so once we had the better part of a Thanksgiving dinner safely tucked away in the back of our minivan, we wished mom our best and ventured forth through the treacherous weather toward home. 

Given all the changes that have just taken place, and the insurmountable odds of what we still had to get done before noon the next day – I decided that we would forgo the added task of stopping, buying and making the White Castle Turkey Stuffing this year.

Side note:  We stock up on turkeys when they are on sale around Thanksgiving.  I still have two frozen turkeys left in our freezer (Did I mention how much I LOVE turkey?) – We decided to forgo the White Castle Stuffing for Thanksgiving, and decided we would give it a try with one of the other turkeys at a later date.  The good news is that it is still going to happen, just a little later!

Since Thanksgiving was now going to be hosted at our house, once we arrived home – it was time to clean, and clean like CRAZY-FOLK!  Several hours later, the kids and their parents exhausted – the house looked pretty darn good!!

The next morning, the focus was on the food… 

In addition to the Turkey, stuffing, and jello (provided by mom), we contributed apple and pumpkin pies (both home-made) , freshly made raisin bread (also home made) and the beverages including water, soda, coffee, hot spiced cider, and a small wine bar – while my mother in law brought the mashed potatoes, yams (or sweet potatoes), and another jello.

While the food was cooking we broke out our fine china (which rarely gets used – but is one of my wife’s favorite things - they are an heirloom from her Great Aunt and she very fond of the set!).  We put the extension in the dining room table, set up the wine bar, and pulled in chairs from everywhere we could!  In the end, we had a table setting for ten!

     

Thanks were given to God for our bountiful feast, and we began to “dig in”…

The meal was spectacular! 

 

After dinner the table was cleared and we sat around visiting while we “digested” in preparation for the home-made pies intended for dessert.

 

After desert we commenced playing a few table games… 

We started with Apples to Apples (junior edition), played a couple of games of “Mexican Train” dominoes, and finally, a rip roaring game of Monopoly (where my mother in law dominated the rest of us!)

It was a great Thanksgiving!  The only thing that would have made the day any better would have been to be able to have my Sister-in-Law (from Texas), my sister and her family (from New York), my brother-in-law and his family (from Illinois), and (of course) my mom (home sick) present.

What made this a unique and special Thanksgiving (for us) is the fact that we were able to celebrate it at our house. 

It’s not that we do not enjoy having Thanksgiving at our respective families homes (we do!), but it’s nice to be able to motivate ourselves to getting the house in “tip-top” shape, and to break out the special dinnerware, and to have our families over to celebrate a holiday in our home too! 

I guess what’s really important is spending the time with the family – which is exactly what we did!