Five

Five is my favorite number.  It has been as far back as I can remember.

There is the “obvious” reason (ahem… father of FIVE…), but that’s not (originally) why five was my favorite number.  Five became my favorite number somewhere around the age of seven or eight (long before I knew I would be the father of a basketball team).  You see, that’s about the age I started learning my “multiplication tables”.  Zeros, Ones and Twos were (understandably) very easy.  Threes and Fours were a little more challenging.  Then came Fives.  Fives were (for me) easy-breezy-lemon-peezy, and so because of that, “five” became my favorite number of all!

Had I known then, what the significance of my “favorite number” would have on the title of this blog, perhaps I would have chosen something slightly different… Something like “one” or maybe even “zero”…

Yeah, yeah… I’m just kiddin’ with you all.  I would not trade one of them for anything!
(Well, at least I don’t think I would, but who knows.  Make me an offer…  Ya never know!)

Today’s post is not about how many kids I have, or about my favorite elementary school multiplication table number, or how much I would take in exchange for one of the kids - No, today’s post is about celebrating an achievement, a milestone, a landmark.  It’s about a dedication and commitment to something.

The Life of a Father of Five is FIVE YEARS OLD TODAY!!

Yes, five years ago my little spot on the web started with THIS POST describing why I wanted to start blogging.   (By the way, I still read “Many Things”… and that song still makes me tear up...)
Five years, 654 posts, and over 33,350 web hits later – and here I am, still plugging away.

After five years I can say that coming up with fresh (and interesting) topics can get a little “challenging” at times.  I still find maintaining “The Life of a Father of Five” a therapeutic outlet.  Although the “frequency” of new material is not what it once was, I have no means of giving it up.  Together, we have been through a lot over these past five years…  I’ve shared a lot about myself, had a few laughs, shed a couple of tears, and learned a lot from others - all while making (and even meeting) some really great people along the way.  Some, I am quite proud to call “friend”.  It has been an interesting journey indeed.

In honor of this fifth anniversary, I have done a couple of things. 

First, I gave the site a facelift.  If you read this post through a feed reader, be sure to click through and take a peek at the new and (in my opinion) improved look!! 

Secondly, I have two pending guest posts.  #2 of 5, and #4 of 5 are GUEST POSTING sometime in the very new future.  (I’m very excited about this)

I also want to take this opportunity to thank the folks that keep me doing this.  First and foremost, my beautiful, lovely, and wonderful wife – The Mother of Five.  Without her I am not sure where I would be today, and I certainly would not have the rest of the crazy “cast and crew”.  She also is very patient with me when it comes to working on this site.  Sometimes (when I get on a roll) I may (or may not) “zone out” from the chaos around me.  I’m not sayin’ I do, I’m only saying it “may” happen from time time.  Right honey?? 

Then, there is  #1 of 5, #2 of 5, #3 of 5, #4 of 5, and #5 of 5.  This group of hooligans is what keep me motivated day in and day out – motivated to (try to) be the best man, the best father, the best role model I can be. (Although, being that person will often make them mad at me – but, then I know I am doing my job correctly, right?)

Last, but certainly not least is YOU.  As I stated earlier – through this site I have had the opportunity to meet and get to know many new people – all so very interesting - from various locations around the US, and even around the globe.  Sometimes it’s a “rogue” visitor.  Often it’s a regular visitor.  Regardless, many have come, some have stuck around, some have moved on, some have never returned – but all have been appreciated for their perspective, input, and for helping to keep me motivated.

Here is my gift to you all.  As a means of thanks for being loyal readers, and for being there for me through the laughs and the tears, the ups and the downs, the good times and the bad times - on this fifth anniversary of “The Life of a Father of Five” I’m going to take you back in time.  I am going to walk with you hand in had through the collection of the “headers” that have adorned the top of “The Life of a Father of Five” over the past five years…  Some were prototypes, some were trials, some stuck around for a short time, and others were there so long even I grew board of them.  I’ll do my best to keep them in order, but I suspect there may be one or two quite a few that “slightly” out of sequence and a few that are not here.   

Thank you all for having been there for and with me over the past five years.  I look forward to the next five years of laughter, tears, and friendship!
I hope you enjoy!

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A Journey of Faith Part 4 - Finding a Home Again

I have (for quite some time now) wanted to document my personal journey of faith.  How I became who I am today in an attempt to try and understand my faith.  I started by doing just that.  I sat down, and wrote out my personal journey of faith.

I know people choose to “evangelize” by sharing their journey.  That is not my mission.  I am not writing these posts to convert.  I am not writing these posts to persuade.  I am not writing these posts to influence.  I AM writing these posts (first and foremost) for myself. 

Previous entries in this series...

A Journey of Faith Part 1 - An Introduction
A Journey of Faith Part 2 – The Early Years
A Journey of Faith Part 3 – Transitions

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By this time in my life, my core beliefs and values were all pretty much set, and I was comfortable with my “faith”.

I met the Mother of Five while in college. She and I share a similar family and religious background. During the three years we were dating, The Mother of Five had moved to Mankato for school while I finished my education here in the Twin Cities. Once I completed my degree and “Skills Training”, I rented my own apartment and moved to Mankato to be closer to her (“my own” as in we did not live together). While there we attended two different parishes –St. Peter & Paul and St. Joseph the Worker. During this time the feeling of familiarity, recognition and connection I once felt started weaning.

We moved back to the metro area, and shortly thereafter married at St. Peter’s in Richfield. This was meaningful because it was her family (and my grandmother’s) parish. We moved into our first apartment together and joined St. John Neumann in Eagan.  St. John Neumann was the only parish that I really did not care much for.  There was no particular reason for me not liking it – I think I finally gave up trying to feel as connected to my parish as I did growing up.

After our first year of marriage, we bought our first house.  It was located in Richfield, Minnesota.  Richfield has three Catholic Churches in the city limits…  There was St. Peter (where we were married), Assumption, and St. Richard’s (that we lived (literally) across the street from).  The three churches also combined their schools into one. 

#1 of 5 (now 23 years old) was enrolled into Blessed Trinity and also went to school across the street (his grade level was located in the St. Richard’s campus). Despite the proximity of St. Richards we still attended St. Peter’s (3 miles away).  I considered it my “home” parish.  St. Richards was our “we are running late” or “convenience” church.

Having the connection we did with St. Peter’s (my grandma’s parish, my in-law’s parish, having been married there, and having a child enrolled in the school) the feeling of being “connected” with my parish started returning.

Coming soon:  A Journey of Faith Part 5 –Troubled Waters

Washington DC or Bust!

Bonus surprise at the bottom of this post!

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I have not yet mentioned much about this, but today is the day #2 of 5 headed out on a whirlwind adventure!
Last year #2 of 5 came home from school with a packet of information about an upcoming school sponsored “WorldStrides” (Educational Student Travel) trip that his Social Studies teacher was hosting. 

Before I go much further, let me explain something.  Keeping #2 of 5 focused on anything that does not have a “Xbox 360” label on it (or anything video game related for that matter) is difficult at best.  “Social Studies” (more specifically, American History) has been the one school subject that seems to have piqued (and maintained) a modicum of his interest and attention (while maintaining an “acceptable” grade without having to torture him to do so).

The trip that he wanted to talk to us about… Washington DC.

That seemed natural enough, given his interest in all things “American History”.  We carefully weighed the options (and cost), ultimately deciding to enroll him in the trip.  That was a year ago.  A lot has passed since we made that decision.  It almost drifted out of our thoughts, but not long after the bill was paid, the emails and notes home started showing up, and the trip that almost drifted out of our thoughts began to approach reality. 

Then came the parent meeting (previously mentioned in the I need Two of Me post), which changed our focus from “reality-mode” to “scramble to get ready-mode”.  Digging out the luggage, packing, stocking up on supplies, cash for his trip, spare Cellular phone charger, new camera, etc, etc, etc.  This all went on during an unusually busy work-week for me.  Things got a little hectic – but (in the end) I think he was all ready to go. 

Honestly, I think I was more worked up about his being ready that he was.

So, at 0230 hours this morning, our alarm clock rang and (despite my numerous offers to get up and take him so she could sleep in) the Mother of Five braved the world of 3am to get him delivered to the chaperones and coach bus waiting to whisk him off to his impending adventure.  (Honestly, I think she WANTED to take him herself…)

I had a confirmation text message (only after sending him one first) confirming that they arrived (safely) in Milwaukee, and another one (also only after my sending him one first) confirming his (safe) arrival in Washington DC.

From there, the kids have a BUSY schedule planned….  Below is a list of the things they are going to be seeing.

Day 1 to include - Library of Congress (as a photo stop), the Supreme Court (as a photo stop), the U.S. Capitol Visitor’s Center, the National Archives, the Jefferson Memorial, FDR Memorial, and Kennedy Center,

Day 2 to include - the Embassy Row, the National Zoo, the National Cathedral, Ford’s Theater, Arlington National Cemetery (with special stops at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, Space Shuttle Challenger Memorial, and the Kennedy Gravesites), and the September 11^th Memorial.

Day 3 to include – Mount Vernon, the Union Station, the Holocaust Museum, theAlbert Einstein Memorial, and the evening spent at the Lincoln Memorial, the Vietnam Veterans Memorial, Vietnam Women’s Memorial, the Korean War Memorial, the Iwo Jima Marine War Memorial, and finally the World War II Memorial.

Day 4 to include – The White House (as a photo stop), the Air and Space Museum, the Museum of American History, and one final stop at the Natural History Museumbefore heading back to the airport, and back home.

In addition to the historic landmarks listed above – they will have a couple of different dining experiences.  In addition to a couple of food court stops, and hotel breakfasts, they will be dining at the Air and Space Café, an Old Country Buffet, a Sizzling Express, and a Vie De France,

As you can see, it is going to be a whirlwind four days.  I expect him to come home very tired, and a little bit more knowledgeable about U.S. History (after all, I better get SOMETHING for the $$ I shelled out, right?). 


Here is “bonus” as promised…


The best part of all of this (for me) is that since I cannot be there to experience this trip myself (first hand) – I have “persuaded” (and I am using that term loosely) #2 of 5 to write a “Guest Blogger” post (or two) about his trip here on The Life of a Father of Five!!

I’m so very excited!!

I Need Two of Me

Last night was a prime example of one of the more challenging aspects of parenting a “larger” family.  Between three of the five children, we had one activity, four “parent meetings”, and one meeting of my own to attend.  To make it even more tricky, most of these events were clustered into two (simultaneous) groupings. 

The events included, #5 of 5’s dance class, #2 of 5’s High School Registration for next school year, #2 of 5’s drivers ed parent meeting, #2 of 5’s impending school sponsored trip to Washington DC parent meeting, #2 and #3 of 5’s monthly Boy Scout Troop parent meeting, and finally a union meeting at work for me.

We took the “tag team” approach.  While the Mother of Five ran #2 of 5 to High School Registration, I took #5 of 5 to dance.  Thankfully, one of her friends parents was able to take her back home for us, so I was able to get her unpacked, ballet slippers on, and settled into class before I rushed out to meet the Mother of Five and #2 of 5 for the driver’s ed parent meeting.

Once the drivers ed meeting was complete I had fifteen minutes spare time before the start of the Washington DC trip parent meeting.  Of course those fifteen minutes were used to rush home for the paperwork I had neglected to bring along.  I was only a few minutes late meeting the Mother of Five and #2 of 5 at DC trip meeting.

Since the DC trip is a “single event” (and contained some fairly important information) we decided it was best if we both attended. I agreed.  This caused us to miss the first half the monthly Boy Scout Troop parent meeting meeting.  I make almost every one of those, so I did not feel too bad missing half of this one.  As soon as the DC trip meeting adjourned I rushed down the hall (thankfully they were held in the same facility) and joined in the Boy Scout Troop parent meeting (already in progress).

By the time I had gotten home from the DC Trip / Boy Scout meetings, the union meeting had already started.  Adding the time it would take me to get to work, I suspect that the meeting would have already concluded, so I chose to forgo trying to attend that.

In the end, I managed to attend four of the six events I needed to (or should have) attended.  That’s 67%.  Hmmm.. I think that would be a D- on a report card (if not an F).  Thankfully, between the Mother of Five and I (together and separately) we were able to pull off an A attend (at least part of) all six events.

I’ve been told there will come a day and a time that I will miss all this…  I have to wonder about that.

Don’t Stop Believin’ (but please stop calling)

Having engaged in a bit of Facebook “cacophony” with my buddy AtHomeDaddy recently, I was reminded of a short little story I had planned on sharing, but had forgotten all about…

Now that #2 of 5 is a full fledged “high schooler” he is attending more school activities and functions – like last month’s “Frosty Fun Days Dance”.

The night of the dance the Mother of Five had to work, and I had to be up at 2am for a 4am shift assignment.  Needless to say I was in a hurry to drop #2 of 5 off at the dance and rush home to head off to bed.  When going to bed that early, it’s often hard to (initially) fall asleep, so I was both grateful and thankful that this evening.  Sleep did find me, and least until…

>>RING<<  >>RING<<  The sound of my cell phone. 

I could not turn off the phones because I needed to be available “just in case of an emergency”, and so when I looked at my cell phone (displaying #2 of 5’s name) – I got a little worried.  My “Hello?” was answered with the unmistakable sounds of a loud party or dance.  Loud music, loud voices, but no voice back.  I gave another “Hello”, this time a little louder.  Still nothing.  One last “HELLO?!?!?” that was met with nothing more that the ambient background noise of a teenage dance, and it was “third strike, yer out”.  Dang pocket dials.  I deal with them ALL DAY LONG at work…

What?  My cell phone dialed 911?  How did that happen???

I rolled over and tried to get back to sleep.  Just as I was reaching that point where I could feel myself falling asleep…

>>RING<<  >>RING<<  The sound of my cell phone…  Again. 

Again, it was #2 of 5’s name on the caller I.D.  Fearing he could not hear me the first time and still needed to get in touch with me, I jumped up and grabbed the phone.  My three attempts to say hello were all followed with northing more than the sounds of the dance going on.  By this time I can almost feel the sleepiness bidding me a fond farewell.  An extended shift on 2 or 3 hours of sleep is not a lot of fun (believe me!).  I attempt to roll over and go back to sleep.

Just as sleepiness and I started getting reacquainted (about thirty minutes later) my cell phone rings again, and again it’s #2 of 5’s number on the I.D.  This time, I only give him one ”Hello”, with no answer when the idea struck me.

I decided to use this opportunity like any good sneaky Dad would do!

I decided to listen in and see what sort of “juice” I could pick up.  Who knows what knowledge I could obtain?!?!  I placed my cell phone on my ear as I laid my head back on the pillow, and proceeded to try and obtain any useful tidbits.

Do you know what I heard??

As I listened, I realized I was listening to nearly two hundred teenagers singing screaming along as the D.J. spun the 1980’s hit “Don’t Stop Believin’ ” by Journey.

Ugh….  Gag me with a spoon!

As the song finished (and before the DJ spun another cheezy mega wonder hit from one of the many nauseating 1980’s  stadium rock bands) I hung up. 

I hung up, but with a smile on my face, remember all the roller skating, and school and youth group dances I attended listening to that same song.  I hope #2 of 5 is having as much fun as I did when I was his age.

A Journey of Faith Part 3 - Transitions

I have (for quite some time now) wanted to document my personal journey of faith.  How I became who I am today in an attempt to try and understand my faith.  I started by doing just that.  I sat down, and wrote out my personal journey of faith.

I know people choose to “evangelize” by sharing their journey.  That is not my mission.  I am not writing these posts to convert.  I am not writing these posts to persuade.  I am not writing these posts to influence.  I AM writing these posts (first and foremost) for myself. 

Previous entries in this series...

A Journey of Faith Part 1 - An Introduction
A Journey of Faith Part 2 – The Early Years

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Transitions

After graduating eighth grade at Nativity, my parents were fortunate enough to be able to afford my enrollment at The Academy of the Holy Angels high school.

It was also a time that our parish had a successful and thriving Youth Group program for kids in grades 9-12. Initially, it was not the "Youth Group" that really interested me, but it was their annual Boundary Waters Canoe trip that I really wanted to attend. Somewhere along the line I ran into a friend of mine from Nativity (who also attended AHA). I knew he was going on the BWCA trip, so I asked him for more information. Not only did he urge me go on the trip, but he suggested that I start attending Youth Group so I could start to meet the other Youth Groupers who were going. I had my initial reservations but in the end I decided to attend.  Looking back, I find that this decision being another one of the defining moments in my life.

I began attending Nativity's Youth Group, and over the next four years, NYG (as it was affectionately referred to) became my second family.  (I still stay in touch with some of the closest friends I made during my involvement in NYG.)

My spiritual journey through these years was assisted in ways that I did not even realize at the time by our youth minister.  He had a way of blending (maybe even “hiding”) the right amount of faith based education into fun and activities for the youth of our Parish.  He had a unique personality that allowed him to be a mentor while at the same time being someone I could consider a friend. He left an indelible mark on an impressionable young man that can still be seen within me to this day.

It was during my involvement in NYG that I connected on a personal level with our parish priest who had been our pastor for many years. Through my years at Nativity School and through alter serving – I became familiar with him, and I suspect he would have been able to recognize me by face, but there was a moment in time that our priest became something more than “just” the church’s pastoral officiant in my eyes.  We connected on a personal level.

Our priest was moving residences, and was looking for some assistance. He turned to the Youth Minister (and the Youth Group) for some volunteer “muscle”. I was one of three or four members who stepped up and volunteered to help him move.  After spending the day with him(away from formal setting of our church) – and helping him get situated in his new residence, I was able to see him as more than “that guy up front” at mass on Sunday. I got to know him as a person. As someone I could approach, say hello to, and have a conversation with. For the first time in my life, I really felt comfortable speaking to a priest. Getting to know our parish priest in this way helped give the Church a more “personal” feel.

After high school graduation and into the college years - my involvement in our church continued. In addition to my involvement in the Youth Group (now as a chaperone for the BWCA trips and helping out our new Youth Minister from time to time) I filled a seat on one of the parish committees, filled in as temporary “collection counter”, and even ran for the seat on the Parish Council reserved for the young adults of the congregation (unfortunately, I came in a close second).

As the old saying goes… “Time and tide wait for no man”, and soon my “youth” and “young adulthood” transformed into the pressures and responsibilities of adulthood.

My Boys are in Mourning.

Up to this point, our family #2 of 5 and #3 of 5 have been spared the GRIEF that many from their generation have come to experience first hand…  

They have avoided the RROD.  What is the RROD you ask?  RROD is an acronym for Red Ring Of Death (or Red Ring of Doom)

For you non-video-game types out there (who I can only assume do not have boys in the house between the ages of 2 and 120) – the RROD is Microsoft’s fault code for “General Hardware Error” within an XBOX 360.  On the front panel of the XBOX 360 is the power button (with green light lit “power” symbol) and four lights that make up a circle that either light up green (meaning all is good) or red (meaning something bad is happening).  The XBOX 360 communicates to it’s owners / operators what type of fault is happening by lighting up a different combination (and location) of the ring of lights depending on what is wrong with the unit.

If I am to believe what I have read on the net thus far, it would appear that our boy’s “best friend” just took the big “dirt nap”.

Just doing a quick cursory search of the world wide web, it seems that somewhere between 3% and 25% of the XBOX 360’s out there (depending on who’s facts you choose to believe) succumb to this “General Hardware Failure” RROD at one point or another.  The XBOX 360 is notoriously known for it’s tendency to overheat.  It was constructed with two poor heatsink straps, very poor ventilation, and lead free solder (which is brittle and can get cracks and breaks from repeated heat / cool down cycles). 

I am currently researching and weighing my options on what comes next.  I could try one of the many obscure “homebrew” repairs that can be found on the web.  I could buy a new (bwa-ha-ha-ha!!!  Yeah, right!) or a used replacement unit.  I could buy (another) refurbished unit (this one was refurbished).  I could send this unit back to Microsoft for an “official” repair, or find a “unofficial” repair specialist who can (or at least claim they can) bring the boy’s best friend the XBOX 360 back from the great beyond.

Anyone have any experience or suggestions with regard to the above listed options??

Until such time that the XBOX has been raised from the dead, I am hoping my boys will reacquaint themselves with a few items from their past… Something like reading books, cleaning their room, chores, or even visiting with their parents!

Welcome

FOF Observation #21

The "FOF Observations" are a series of "Perpetual Posts" where I will share with you, my readers, short little observations that I have made (or will be making) on being the father of a large family. You will be able to access each of the posts in a cohesive list by clicking on the "FOF Observations" link in the "Perpetual Posts" group on the sidebar.
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Today, I submit two photos, each titled.  One from the morning before I left for work, the second taken tonight before I go to bed.  The photos tell their own story.

Enjoy.

 

Photo #1 - “Uh-oh”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Photo #2 - “That was close!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, that is our bathroom vanity.  Yes, that a photo of the “magic cabinet” that mysteriously restocks the toilet paper roll every time it’s empty (only, I wish it would “magically & mysteriously” put the roll of toilet paper on the holder instead of the edge of the tub, back of the toilet, or on the floor near the toilet….) 

Can you guess what errand I ran today?? 

If your counting, that’s thirty rolls in the bottom photo…  I bought a thirty pack! 
(And save your breath… I don’t need anyone to tell me how full of $—t I am.  I already know that!!)  . 

A Journey of Faith Part 2 – The Early Years.

I have (for quite some time now) wanted to document my personal journey of faith.  How I became who I am today in an attempt to try and understand my faith.  I started by doing just that.  I sat down, and wrote out my personal journey of faith.

I know people choose to “evangelize” by sharing their journey.  That is not my mission.  I am not writing these posts to convert.  I am not writing these posts to persuade.  I am not writing these posts to influence.  I AM writing these posts (first and foremost) for myself. 

Previous entries in this series...
A Journey of Faith Part 1 - An Introduction

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The Early Years.

I was born into a Catholic family. 


At the time of my birth, my mother was a nurse working at St. Mary's Hospital in Minneapolis.  My baptism was non-traditional.  It was preformed inside the hospital by Father Pascal Francis Kelly (another link) in his room, and from his bed.  I was not ill.  Father Kelly was bedridden by multiple sclerosis and lived at St. Mary's from 1956 until he passed away in 1975. He was one of the patients that my mother regularly cared for and befriended through her time working at St. Mary's.  

My maternal grandparents attended St. Albert's in Minneapolis, and my paternal grandparents attended St. Peter's in Richfield (and I have memories of attending mass at both churches with my grandparents). From birth until age eight, my family attended (the now closed) St. Kevin's Church in Minneapolis.

I attended pre-school (I think it was called "nursery school" back then) at St. Albert's and was taught by Brother Benedict (I believe a Franciscan Brother).  I was enrolled into Kindergarten in the Minneapolis public school system, but the following (and all subsequent) years my parents enrolled me in the parochial school system - starting with St. Kevin's where I attended until my family moved from Minneapolis to Bloomington.  Once in Bloomington, my parents joined Nativity of Mary's parish and I was enrolled into and attended Nativity of Mary School from grade three until grade eight.

It was through years of parochial school and it's interjection of faith and religion into most aspects of education that my faith found it's earliest foundation.  I also had a three year career as an alter server from sixth through eighth grade. 

Yes, the photo you see to the right is indeed a very young "FOF".  I do look happy there, don't I??? 
During this same time frame (elementary / junior high) while living in Bloomington that we had some very close neighborhood friends (with similarly aged children) that were Baptist. Their children attended "Trout Lake Camp" (a vacation bible camp) each summer.   It was not long before we were invited to join them.  I truly enjoyed the time I spent at Trout Lake Camp. It was a good blend of faith based motivation along with fun summertime activities for kids.

Throughout the trips I made to Trout Lake Camp I learned a lot about my own budding faith. I also believe this was a huge part of how I learned to be respectful (not fearful) of, and even curious about other's beliefs. I learned that different religions may differ slightly from my own, most have much more in common than divide us. I also learned not to be afraid to share my faith. (Being one of the only Catholic attending a Baptist Bible Camp – I often was asked questions about being Catholic, and we discussed our differences. It was always done in a respectful and educational manner.)

It was my final year at Trout Lake Camp (the summer between my eighth grade and ninth grade) that the staff at Trout Lake Camp asked us to consider consciously accepting Jesus Christ into our hearts and to follow the ways of Christ in our lives. The staff stressed the importance of this decision, and did not want anyone to make the decision frivolously. After much reflection (reflection of a then 14 year old boy) It was there (ironically enough, at a Baptist Bible Camp) that I accepted the challenge. I remember the moment distinctly, and it is one of the "defining moments" in my life.

In many ways, accepting that challenge (on my own accord) was a stepping stone into a life as a young adult.

Coming soon:  A Journey of Faith Part 3 - Young Adulthood.

A Journey of Faith Part 1 – An Introduction

In my last post (Adult Principles) I talked about wanting to compile a list of traits I felt were important to being a husband, father, and productive member of society.  I shared with you JP Barlow’s list of twenty-five Adult Principles. Barlow's list was quite comprehensive, yet there was one item in particular that I had in my list that Mr. Barlow did not address... 

Faith.

Faith (by definition) is a belief in something for which there is no proof.  I know some consider "faith" foolishness, or a personality weakness.  I do not.  A person's faith is a very personal thing.  Even within myself, I have found my own faith a complicated mix of feelings, beliefs, and even (if I want to be honest) a little contradiction.  In my bio, I have written (about myself)…

"I consider myself a man of faith. I was born, raised, and practice the Catholic faith, and I am not afraid to say that I believe in God. While I have no desire to leave my faith, I am both tolerant of, and interested in learning more about the other faiths and Religions around the world."

I have found that In times of trouble, turbulence and confusion in my life I have found that by turning to my faith I have been able to find peace, serenity, harmony, and answers.  My faith in God is something that has served me well throughout my life, and has always be there ready and waiting for me when I need it most.
I practice my faith within the Catholic Church. 

It’s true, Catholicism has received it's fair share of criticism lately (and I may face a little flack from some for saying this, but I believe some of that criticism is justified).  Yet for all the things it is scrutinized for, the Catholic Church has done and continues to do a lot of good throughout the world.  Do not get me wrong.  I am not justifying the negative by trying to camouflage it with the positive.  I think too many people acknowledge one, and ignore the other (and that goes for both sides of the issue).   

Despite it’s shortcomings, I (personally) have found a certain level of comfort and familiarity within The Catholic Church (as an institution).  At least once a week I have an opportunity to tune out the external noise and chaos of life as a father of five, and loose myself in the familiar and traditional rituals of the Catholic Mass.

I acknowledge that these rituals (the standing, sitting, knelling, and repetitious prayers) may not be for everyone.  It is likely that some (maybe most) people do not understand why we do the things we do (I can not explain them all myself), but being a creature of habit (desperate for stability) I have (personally) found those familiar and traditional rituals help (forgive my use of cliché) "bring me back to where I want to be" and help "center myself”.   As a father of five, “time” is something of a premium.  Participation in those familiar and traditional rituals afford me a small window of opportunity to reset my priorities.  I can take the time to reflect upon the previous week, and focus on navigating around the impending obstacles of the upcoming week.  I emerge from mass feeling re-energized to take on life with an emphasis on positive principals such as respect, dignity, honor, peace, acceptance, honesty leaving behind the negative.  

Admittedly, while I have a strong sense of faith in my life, I am not what you would consider an “overly religious” fellow. I am sure that while some may be surprised by this fact and others may not - I struggle with some of the minutia, “rules”, and viewpoints of the Church.  I tend to be selective on which of these items are “important” to me, and which ones I am able (or allow myself) to overlook.  Does that make me a bad Catholic?  I don’t know. 

One of my favorite movie quotes is from the movie Trading Places where a “secular” character named Coleman (dressed as a Catholic priest and speaking with a stereotypical Irish accent) offers another character a sip of Irish whisky from his flask. The recipient replies “No thank you, it’s against my religion”. Colman then comes back with the unexpected (yet memorable) quote “Religion is a good thing I say, taken in moderation”. Of course the irony (and humoristic contrast) here is that this is said by a religious figure.

What I do know is that I try (and try hard) to follow what I see as the core values and principles of Jesus Christ.  Call me a sinner (or a bad Catholic) if you wish (Matthew 7:1), but in the end I’d rather be judged a honest, compassionate and forgiving man who ate a bowl of cereal before mass than a deceitful, underhanded, and dishonest man who fasts one hour before mass. 

This is where things get complex.  In a confusing and unexplainable contradiction, while I struggle with the “fast before mass” rule, I find inspiration in the Lenten fast.  Why is it that??  Why can I find inspiration while fasting for forty days of Lent, but not for the one hour before weekly mass?   

I wish I was able to discern and tell you why I believe the things I believe, and why I find fulfillment in the things that I do, but I can not.  I can not even explain them to myself, let alone try to explain them to others. 
What I can say, without hesitation, is that that it feels right, and it feels good to do so.  

So I continue living what could probably be described as a life of strong faith as a moderate Catholic – struggling to understand the things I do not, while finding fulfillment in the things I do, 

See what I mean??  Personal, complex, contradictory, and (often) unexplainable…  But in the end, isn’t that what faith is all about?  About believing in something intangible, abstract, and elusive?  Believing in something that you can not prove, even to yourself? 

I have (for quite some time now) wanted to document my personal journey of faith.  How I became who I am today in an attempt to try and understand my faith.  I started by doing just that.  I sat down, and wrote out my personal journey of faith.  Not so much the abstract thoughts and ideas that this post is full of, but moreover the plain and simple facts.  The unarguable facts that may or may not have contributed to what my faith and beliefs are all about today. 

Originally, this was not going to be something that ended up on Father of Five.  It was to be for personal fulfillment.  As I processed my thoughts, and started putting it down I paper – I decided that I would post my journey.  I would open up and share my faith.  I know people choose to “evangelize” by sharing their journey.  That is not my mission.  I am not writing these posts to convert.  I am not writing these posts to persuade.  I am not writing these posts to influence.  I AM writing these posts (first and foremost) for myself. 

Writing this series of posts has been daunting to say the least.  I have spent hours writing, deleting, reworking, starting, stopping, and restarting, repeatedly.  Each time I decide to abandon the project, something has drawn me back to it.  I have struggled with finding the time to dedicate to this project, and (when I have found the time) I have struggled with the mechanics of putting words to the thoughts that best express my sentiments.  This is a simplistic view at best.  I do not want anyone walking away from this series thinking that I have shared (or that they now know) everything there is to know about my faith and beliefs.  It’s just not that simple.   

I will leave the comments open on this series of posts.  I only ask that any comments, questions, links, forwards, and discussion be tolerant and respectful – as I would if you were talking about your faith.

Coming soon… A Journey of Faith Part 2 – The Early Years.

Adult Principles

I had, in the back of my head, an idea for a project I wished to undertake. 

The idea was to compile a list of traits that I (personally) felt were important to…

…Being a man (and a productive member of society at large)
…Being a husband (one that is loving, caring, and mindful of the needs of his wife)
…Being a father / grandfather (loving, nurturing, cognizant of the needs while instilling
                                            a sense of morals and values for his children / grandchildren)

I had a couple of key “components” already listed down on paper that I had been adding to / overhauling as ideas came to mind.  My list included such items as Dignity, Understanding, Patience, Forgiveness, Honesty, and Faith.  These are the traits that I have found myself trying to live by, and traits I would want to pass down to my children and grandchildren. 

Then, just recently, I stumbled upon the work of someone I had never heard of before. John Perry Barlow.

According to Wikipedia (link provided above) John Perry Barlow is “an American poet and essayist, a retired Wyoming cattle rancher, and a cyberlibertarian political activist who has been associated with both the Democratic and Republican parties. He is also a former lyricist for the Grateful Dead and a founding member of the Electronic Frontier Foundation. Since May 1998, he has been a Fellow at Harvard University's Berkman Center for Internet and Society.”

While none of those notable accomplishments listed have any significant meaning or interest to me, or my life specifically, I was quite taken with something he wrote over thirty years ago.  Something I only just recently read myself.

As I understand it, Mr. Barlow - on the eve of his 30th birthday (Oct. 1977) - assembled a list of twenty-five “behavioral goals” that he hoped would help aid him in acquiring an adult sense of responsibility.  What he created that night came to be known as his “Principals of Adult Behavior”.

Despite their “age”, I found that his ideals on what constitutes “Adult Principals” so closely mirrors the ideals I myself was trying to establish, that I felt compelled to share. 

Adult Principle #1: Be patient. No matter what.
Adult Principle #2: Don’t badmouth: Assign responsibility, not blame. Say nothing of another you wouldn’t say to him.
Adult Principle #3: Never assume the motives of others are, to them, less noble than yours are to you.
Adult Principle #4: Expand your sense of the possible.
Adult Principle #5: Don’t trouble yourself with matters you truly cannot change.
Adult Principle #6: Don’t ask more of others than you can deliver yourself.
Adult Principle #7: Tolerate ambiguity.
Adult Principle #8: Laugh at yourself frequently.
Adult Principle #9: Concern yourself with what is right rather than who is right.
Adult Principle #10: Try not to forget that, no matter how certain, you might be wrong.
Adult principle #11: Give up blood sports.
Adult principle #12: Remember that your life belongs to others as well. Do not endanger it frivolously, and never
                             endanger the life of another.
Adult principle #13: Never lie to anyone for any reason.
Adult principle #14: Learn the needs of those around you and respect them.
Adult principle #15: Avoid the pursuit of happiness. Seek to define your mission and pursue that.
Adult principle #16: Reduce your use of the first personal pronoun.
Adult principle #17: Praise at least as often as you disparage.
Adult principle #18: Never let your errors pass without admission.
Adult principle #19: Become less suspicious of joy.
Adult principle #20: Understand humility.
Adult principle #21: Forgive.
Adult principle #22: Foster dignity.
Adult principle #23: Live memorably.
Adult principle #24: Love yourself.
Adult principle #25: Endure.

Mr. Barlow then went on to say (about his list)… “I don’t expect the perfect attainment of these principles.  However, I post them as a standard for my conduct as an adult”.

Like Mr. Barlow – I too do not expect to achieve perfection – but I too will post this list publicly as a standard for MY conduct as an adult.

Practicing a Little “Space Management”

To coin a phrase used by local talk radio genius Joe Soucheray in his radio show “Garage Logic” – Today I practiced a little bit (ok, a lot) of “space management”. 

For those of you who are not familiar with “Garage Logic” and it’s lexicons - “Space management” is the practice of not losing any space on the driveway to a snow bank. This generally includes snow blowing to the edges of the driveway and following up by sculpting with a shovel, as well as flaring the snow bank where the driveway meets the street to give you an easier turn out of the driveway. Good space management requires both spatial planning and execution.

Since the beginning of the year – my time has been even more a premium than it usually is.  So much so that throughout this time frame and despite several “smaller” snowfalls (between a “dusting” and two inches) instead of shoveling it or snow blowing it (blower is still on the fritz)  - I simply drove over in and packed it down on the driveway.

I do not mind winter in Minnesota, in fact, you could say I love it!  (I love each of the seasons).  Yet one of my winter time pet peeves is a driveway packed with, covered in, and encroached upon with snow.  I love having a clean and clear driveway. 

Today (my last day off before starting back to work) – I spent my day SLOWLY chiseling, chipping, carving and scraping my driveway back to it’s blacktop surface – all the way out (side to side) back to it’s edges. 

With out the snow blower – it was a lot of lifting and throwing.  I would chisel large “sheets” of Titanic sinking icebergs from the surface of the driveway (large sheets of ice and compacted snow that often were three or more inches thick) and either bend over to pick them up one by hand, or attempt to capture on on my shovel..  

I cleared the surface, opened the “apron” (where the driveway meets the street) and even cleaned up the edges.  Without the show blower to “throw” it way out into the yard, the snow really started piling up along the driveway.  Many places the snow banks are well over four feet tall.

       

Blowing and Drifting

We here in the great state of Minnesota were the lucky recipients of several significant snow storms throughout the month of December.  In fact, December 2010 will go down in the record books as being the snowiest December in 41 years.  The new record of 33.4 inches of snow, broke the previous record set 41 years before in December of 1969 when we had a recorded 33.2 inches of snow.

Having that much snow around poses several unique issues, including removal and drifting.

   

The snow had drifted so “eerily deep” along one of the rural roads between our town and the next town that if a vehicle had broken down and pulled over to the shoulder, it would have been engulfed, and (potentially) entombed in one of these drifts. 

I told myself I HAD to return to get a photo. 

On Christmas Day, on my way (over the river and through the woods) to my in-law’s house I knew I was going to be passing through this same area again.  Armed with our camera (intended for the typical Christmas photos) I took the opportunity to pull over, and take these shots.

I Have Struck it Rich!

The couch that we have in our basement is what I would call “utilitarian quality” – as in, it was built to look nice on a show room floor and for the first couple of months in your house, but the focus in it’s construction was more about  “price point” and aesthetic quality, and less about craftsmanship and durability.

Our basement couch has, over the years, become a “catch all” for all sorts of things.  The lower “build” quality equates to gaps in the framework that objects can slip through (gaps that higher end furniture do not have).  I knew many objects had fallen thorough the gaps in our couch, but it was not until a couple of weeks ago when I went on a cleaning rampage that I discovered just how much had passed through that void to oblivion.

It was during this cleaning rampage that I decided to move our couch and love seat from it’s spot to “detail” clean underneath it.  When I rolled the couch forward, I heard the sounds of “stuff” rolling around inside the couch.  Since I already had the couch upside down, I decided it was high time that I remove the dust cover (the black fabric covering the underside of the couch) and reclaim that what was once mine.  I was nearly shocked by what I found.

In addition to the crayons, pencils, pens, remote control, candy wrappers, unwrapped candy, partially eaten candy, hair barrettes, scrunchies, legos, and other miscellaneous toys – I found money! 

LOTS OF IT!!

By the time I was done cleaning and vacuuming all the nooks and crannies of the underside of our couch – I walked away with a small fortune!  (At least what could be considered a small fortune for a father of five such as myself!)

  

Twelve quarters, nine dimes, five nickels, and eleven pennies

In all, the grand total I walked away with was $4.26.  Yup, just short of a cool five bucks!

The only thing left to do is to decide how to spend my new windfall!

Introducing….

I am very pleased to introduce to the world, the newest addition to the cast of characters in “The Life of a Father of Five”

Tobias James6lbs 8oz
21 inches
Born 6:55pm

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First and foremost, I am happy to report that “C” (the new mother) is doing well! 
I am also very happy to report that the “cute as a button” baby is doing very well!
Finally, I am happy to report that #1 of 5 (the new father) is doing well. 
Although everyone is doing well, continued thoughts and prayers for this new little family would be greatly appreciated!

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I was at work when the excitement all started taking place.  I was being given updates over the telephone as they happened.
By 9pm we had enough staff on that I could burn a couple of hours of my vacation time to drive out to the hospital and see how everyone was doing. 
The Mother of Five was already there visiting with “C”.  I arrived and heard the whole story from start to finish. 
Prior to leaving #1 of 5 took me into the nursery to see the baby while the Mother of Five stayed with “C”. 

Since “C” was required to stay in her room, the baby was still required to stay in the nursery, and the Mother of Five wanted to stay with “C”, I (unfortunately) did not get any photos of baby with mom, baby with grandparents (except myself), or baby with great grandparents.  I promise to get some tomorrow, as it turns out there are some new uncles and aunts that are pretty excited to meet their new nephew!
Since it was only us, it turned out to be a nice little little Grandfather / Father / Son moment…

The Weather Outside is Frightful

I chose to avoid the overused terms “Snowmageddon” or “Tsnownami” – but what we have going on here today is frightful indeed! 

We are in the midst of the biggest snow storm yet this year – we are told to expect anywhere from 16-19 inches of snow (depending on where you are at).  We are also getting sustained winds 15-20 with gusts up to 35 mph – and to top it all off, temps are dropping (quickly) and we are being advised to expect wind-chills in the 20 – 35 below zero range.

When you live in a rural area, the roads between towns are the most dangerous means of getting around (even though they can be the ONLY means to get around).  If the road does get plowed, it will “disappear” under blowing and drifting snow again in a matter of minutes.  It’s easy to get get stranded or trapped in your vehicle in weather like this.  Given the current weather conditions and expected drop in temps, choosing to drive is choosing to take your life in your own hands.

This is quite the weather event!  But, it’s Minnesota – and anyone who has lived here long enough (or, their whole lives – like me) come to expect these types of “events”.  What makes this one unique is that #2 of 5, #3 of 5 and I committed to work the Salvation Army’s Red Bucket this morning at Radermacher’s Grocery Store.

Unfortunately, #2 of 5 was home sick yesterday, and was not feeling any better today.  Given the weather outside today, and our morning plans, I excused #2 of 5 from his bell ringing duties.

Our shift started at 9am.  I took this video out our front window just prior to leaving.   

 

We arrived, met with the store manager, got our bells and aprons, (literally) dug the stand and bucket out of a snowdrift, and set up.  It was cold, but not “frigid” outside (the temps had not yet dropped down).  Since we were on the first shift of the day, we watched the lot get plowed (for the second time today – according to the manager). 

It seemed as if 1 out of every 10 vehicles that we noticed had a snow plow blade attached to it.

As the morning progressed a few folks started braving the weather and showing up to stock up for being snowed in over the next few days.  As we have noticed in the past, the generosity of folks simply amazed me!  Perhaps they felt sorry for #3 of 5 and I for having to stand out in the blizzard?    

   

 

We stuck around long enough to finish up our shift, and (unfortunately, our relief never showed up (very likely due to weather)) so we worked half of the next shift.  By the time the weather started getting to us, you could not even tell the lot had been plowed (twice already).  We decided that we had done our part (and then some) so we called it quits.  We turned in our aprons and bells, picked up the few things that the Mother of Five asked us to pick up from the Grocery Store (since getting in and out would be pretty much out of the question in a few short hours), stopped for a hot chocolate and headed home.

One of the things I like about living in a small / rural town is seeing things that others may find quite odd.  Things like snowmobiles driving along side of you, and folks gassing up those snowmobiles – not on trailers mind you, no, they drive up to the gas pumps ON their snowmobiles and gas ‘em up right there at the pumps! 

By the time we finished our shift, got our hot chocolates, and started driving home – the snow was really starting to accumulate.  The main road (County Road 9) had been plowed, but 190th had not yet – and the drifts along that stretch of the road batted my little car around like a toy.

I nearly slid past the entrance to our development, and I really struggled to keep my car moving (with forward momentum) through the deep snow that covered our (unplowed) street.  I slowed slightly as we approached our driveway – wanting to get the garage door open so I could keep the momentum going up the driveway and into the garage. 

The door opened, and I “punched it” as I turned into the driveway.

I made it on to the driveway, but that is about it.  Thankfully, my car was completely off the roadway, but far enough down the bottom of the driveway that if the snow plow had come by My car would be half buried in the mound left behind.

I spent the next hour plowing the driveway around my car, then digging the car out. 

 

Once I successfully freed my car from the snow bank, I tucked my car back into the garage.

 

With the car safely back in the garage, I finished blowing out the rest of the driveway, and some of our front sidewalk.

 

Afterwards, I headed in to warm up, dry off, and spend some time with my family.  (Watching It’s a Wonderful Life).  But before heading down, something caught my eye. 

   

Yup!  That is snow, drifted up to the height of our kitchen table!!  So, that’s it.  I’m calling it quits!  Time to write up a quick blog post, and enjoy the rest of the day “snowed in” with my family!  I LOVE Minnesota!!